IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Why is it the case? Can you suggest some ways to prepare people to work in the future?

#world #work #employees #job #conditions #life #case #people #future
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We are indeed living in changing times, which means that nobody can be entirely certain about what will happen so the employees who just have one
job
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 are very risky. In my point of view, it comes from many reasons in daily
life
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 like economics. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both and suggest ways from my own knowledge. To start off, there are many reasons that explain why the world of
work
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 will change very fast in the future.
Firstly
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, the world of
work
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 is changing, so employees who depend on having the same
job
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 will face unemployment.
For example
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, house appliances are more modern so
people
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 will not need someone to help them do housework. It will limit the value of housekeepers because they don’t have other skills
besides
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 cleaning the house.
Moreover
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, popular careers are attracting a large number of
people
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 who find
work
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 because it is very easy to do and earn money. Most
people
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 want to apply for these
jobs
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, which leads to competition in
job
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 is very high so
people
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 will be unemployed who don’t accept the
job
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. The status of the economy is one of the things that makes
life
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 difficult for a lot of
people
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. Inflation has increased in some countries. What’s more, adapting to the current conditions of the environment and weather is quite challenging. Regarding the relevant solutions, the world of
work
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 is changing very fast so individual
people
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 need to prepare themselves with many different skills in every career. In my opinion, we need to learn common skills that can be used in all
jobs
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such
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 as teamwork, and handle situations.
Besides
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 that, employers need to widen their knowledge about other
jobs
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 that will help them earn money when their career has a problem or be replaced by something
.
Rephrase
else.
show examples
Additionally
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, the government needs to provide the means and support necessary for the disadvantaged to achieve success in
life
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. As for the business owners, it might be possible to create specialized courses that instruct individuals on how to use contemporary technology in the workplace. In brief, modifications are part of
life
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. What actually matters is that
people
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 will
also
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 need to be able to stay current with these changes because,
although
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 technology is replacing certain
jobs
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, many
jobs
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 are just integrating it into their operations.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure by organizing your ideas into distinct paragraphs, each covering one main point. Use linking words effectively to connect ideas and make the progression of your argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
For the introduction and conclusion, ensure you are clearly stating your thesis and summarizing your main points without introducing new information. This helps to ensure that the essay feels complete and resolved.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points better, incorporate specific examples and detailed explanations. General statements are less persuasive than those backed with concrete, real-world examples.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure to fully respond to all parts of the prompt. Your essay should address all aspects of the question, demonstrating a clear understanding and providing appropriate and comprehensive responses.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clear and comprehensive by expressing them in a precise and articulate manner. Avoid ambiguity and vagueness in your argumentation to effectively communicate your perspective.
task achievement
Adding relevant and specific examples will strengthen your task achievement score. Draw from a range of scenarios or case studies to illustrate your points, which shows the examiner that you can apply your understanding to real-world contexts.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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