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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view point ?

#people #government #money #arts #point
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Arts are an integral part of human civilization. Art reflects the culture and heritage of many
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
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.
This
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 particular skill has a very long and great history in showcasing its importance to society. Any historical place around the globe can easily be identified by its rich handwork. In
this
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 connection, some sectors of people think that the government is spending more money on these arts rather than using the fund for other specific purposes. The rulers in the democratic era are very much concerned with preserving the skills for future generations to come and helping them to know the importance of skills. But in some developed ,land the public is contradicting the decisions made by the local authorities in spending huge amounts on these programs.
Secondly
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, they say that amount may be spent on providing better amenities to the public in order to achieve uniform growth in all sectors of the society.
Further
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 to some extent, I agree with
this
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 opinion that most nations around the world are investing a large proportion of their financial resources in
this
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 particular field to protect their treasure for the ages to come. Recent studies have proven that developed societies are spending nearly 15% of their annual budget in
this
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 field.
This
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 percentage of investment can provide civic amenities to the poor state in Asia and Africa. ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
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Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
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 most developed people can come up with
such
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 an idea that would uplift the face of the poor public in the years to come.
Submitted by nvkc83 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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