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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

#computers #business #hospitals #crime #detection #planes #dependence
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Nowadays,
computers
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 are getting much more popular, so
that
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apply
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people
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 can not live without them. It can be thought that adults are using
computers
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 more than children, but it is not the truth.
Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
Unfortunatly
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Unfortunately
,
people
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 are getting addicted to technology and it is not as good.
Firstly
Linking Words
, using
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Add an article
the computer
a computer
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computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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 a lot affects
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teenagers
teenegars
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teenagers
 and children in a bad way, because when they need
an information
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information
a piece of information
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 they can get it from
internet
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the internet
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 quickly rather than using their
mind
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minds
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. Due to not using their mind, they can not be creative.
Beside
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Besides
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 that, it has
also
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effect
Correct article usage
an effect
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to
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on
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people
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's social life.
For example
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, if someone
addicted
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is addicted
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 to
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computer
Correct article usage
a computer
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, it is hard to have friends. Researchers say that
,
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apply
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 these kinds of
people
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 can not communicate with other
people
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 easily.
Therefore
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, they do not have a social life.
In addition
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, the internet and social media
is
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are
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 getting dangerous place because
of
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apply
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technology is developing.
People
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 have to carry out how much time they spend on
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Add an article
the computer
a computer
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computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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. Especially, parents should delimit to
computers
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, so that children can not search
everything
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for everything
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 they want.
Computers
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 are not always dangerous or bad to
use
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. It has
also
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beneficial
Correct article usage
a beneficial
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 part, but
people
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 have to know how to
use
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 it. In conclusion, if
people
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use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Add an article
the computer
a computer
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computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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 for beneficial
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 it is good to
use
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. But, it has to be limited because not to get addicted.
Submitted by ayseggultekin on

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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