IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that people in senior positions alone make decision in a business, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #positions #decision #business #employees #process
Some people consider that those in senior positions are the only ones who reach
decisions
 in a
business
, while others state that employees’ voices should be
also
 taken into account in the decision-making process. As far as I am concerned, while managers and bosses have the
last
 word regarding a decision, it has to be based on employees’ ideas and opinions too.
To begin
 with, a great number of people consider that individuals in senior positions are privileged to make
decisions
 in their own businesses. Clearly, as long as they obtained these superior positions, managers have all the rights to reach
decisions
 alone. Still, even though they might be wrong sometimes, bosses accept their mistakes and learn from them all on their own.
For instance
, the manager of an influential computer science company changed the economic direction of his
business
 by reaching a decisive decision which led the company to bankruptcy.
However
, he acknowledged the massive mistake he made and started all over again a new
business
.
On the other hand
, it is argued that bosses should involve employees in the decision-making process. Naturally, managers’ job is
also
 to come up with innovative ideas that can ease employees’ work, so why they can not contribute to
company’s
Correct article usage
the company’s
show examples
 destiny? A study shows that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a great number of issues in a
business
 are solved due to employees
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they notice daily problems they deal with and provide solutions for them, even though they might not be taken into consideration by their superiors.
Besides
,
this
 is how employees contribute to the development of their company, so I state that they should be involved in the decision-making process. In conclusion, individuals find it fair to involve employees’ opinions when reaching a decision, while others believe that only managers are influential enough to make
decisions
 in a
business
.
Submitted by diana_t24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: