some people think that ambition is essential for success. To what extent, do you agree?

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People
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can be high achievers because they have strong
ambitions
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. In fact, I strongly agree with those who feel that
ambition
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is a necessary thing to achieve success.
Firstly
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,
people
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with strong
ambition
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usually have a clear plan to achieve their
goals
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.
For instance
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, some athlete with strong
ambition
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will maximize their effort to win the match. They will prepare their physical and mental with exercise routinely before
competing
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the competing
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day comes. It can be seen that before someone runs a marathon, they will prepare themselves self at least one month before running. So, with strong
ambition
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,
people
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will be encouraged to exercise continuously to achieve their
goals
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as winners.
Therefore
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, strong
ambition
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will help us to achieve our
goals
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.
Secondly
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, when facing failure,
people
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will be stronger because they have
ambitions
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.
People
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with
ambitions
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will not give up easily when they have a problem because
ambitions
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will make someone become stronger to facing obstacles.
For instance
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, when we had a target to be a mathematical Olympiad winner, we would continuously learn even if it seemed hard for us. As we know, when we have a strong resilience, our opportunity to succeed is greater.
For example
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, Angela Duckworth in a TED Talk on YouTube says, “Resilience is more important than IQ”.
therefore
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, when we have strong
ambitions
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, it can enhance our resilience. In conclusion, we need
ambitions
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for success because when we have a strong
ambition
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it can help us to achieve our
goals
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and enhance our resilience. I,
therefore
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, remain firmly convinced that
ambition
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is an essential part of success.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a fluid flow of ideas. Consider using linking phrases between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide a wider variety of examples to offer a more rounded argument. Perhaps include examples beyond physical challenges to highlight ambition in different contexts.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with a clear statement of the writer's position, well-introduced and concluded with a strong summary of arguments.
relevant specific examples
The examples used are relevant and illustrate the point very well, enhancing the clarity of the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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