IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

#humans #environment #governments #address #people
Since the Industrial Revolution, environmental pollution has never ceased to draw public attention
as well as
 provoke debates. There are various causes for
this
 phenomenon but virtually they are instigated by human activities. In
this
 essay, the problems and remedies will be discussed.
Firstly
,
technology
Replace the word
technological
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 innovation has led to the advent of new kinds of transportation and the possession of private vehicles.
Although
 people can commute faster and more conveniently, the fumes emitted by vehicles themselves have become the root cause of the greenhouse effect which leads to global warming, changing the climate and causing natural disasters.
Secondly
, the increasing urbanisation and industrialisation have promoted the deforestation and destruction of the natural habitats of many species, threatening the balance of the ecosystem. A telling example of these arguments is China, where carbon footprints from transportation and industries
as well as
 the ever-present need for accommodation
due to
 overpopulation have greatly contributed to the
overall
 worsening of the global environment and climate. A variety of solutions has been proposed to tackle the problems, but after all, governments should become the backbone of the efforts.
In particular
, lawmakers should enact policies regulating and restricting the number of greenhouse gases and attempt to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fume
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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 by levying environmental taxes on vehicles
along with
 developing
the
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apply
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public traffic
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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such
 as buses and subways.
Furthermore
, the regulations on urbanisation and industrialisation should be revised in order to
assure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
 that they will not be detrimental to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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natural habitats.
Additionally
, penalties should
also
 be imposed to prevent forest destruction. In conclusion, it is human practices that contribute to the downgrading of the natural environment. Governments should be the instructors and leaders in the eradication of
this
 matter.
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task response
Ensure that each body paragraph directly relates to the main topic and presents a clear argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider using transition words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas and create stronger connections between sentences and paragraphs.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pollution: contamination, emissions, pollutants, industrial waste
  • Deforestation: habitat loss, biodiversity, urban development, logging
  • Climate Change: greenhouse gases, global warming, fossil fuels, renewable energy
  • Overfishing: unsustainable, fish stocks, marine ecosystems, conservation
  • Waste Production: non-biodegradable, plastics, recycling, waste management systems
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