IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The level of application of modern technology and techniques has never been on
such
Linking Words
 a level playing field as it is
today
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 does not mean we have eradicated hunger, in fact,
on the contrary
Linking Words
,
considerable
Change the article
a considerable
the considerable
show examples
 number of people are still suffering from lack of
food
Use synonyms
, if not
absence
Add an article
the absence
show examples
 of it. I think
this
Linking Words
 is because of
mal-distribution
Correct article usage
the mal-distribution
show examples
 of the
resources
Use synonyms
 and corrupted governments, and there are two measures that can be taken to tackle the problem. To start off, the primary reason why hunger still exists is corruption
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is rather prevalent in most governments
today
Use synonyms
. It is because of
this
Linking Words
 moral illness,
key
Correct word choice
that key
show examples
 authorities attempt to make money
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 or take unfair political advantage of
food
Use synonyms
 by either selling at high prices or blocking
food
Use synonyms
 sales to have their terms accepted. It is no secret
today
Use synonyms
,
because
Correct word choice
that because
show examples
 of the mounting violence of war in Ukraine and blockage of sales of wheat, global prices thereof hiked up. Sadly, corrupt
leaders
Use synonyms
 are so many
today
Use synonyms
, and some of them heading poverty-stricken countries, sell the
food
Use synonyms
 freely granted by international organizations regarding it as a ‘get-rich-quick scheme’. Another reason
that is
Linking Words
 correlated with the corrupted rulers is the mal-distribution of
food
Use synonyms
resources
Use synonyms
. Needless to say,
resources
Use synonyms
 at hands of selfish people will go to the hands that benefit them either politically or financially. The most viable measure
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is quality
education
Use synonyms
 supported by both nations and their
leaders
Use synonyms
.
Education
Use synonyms
beneficial
Add a missing verb
is beneficial
show examples
 in many ways ranging from nurturing GOD-fearing human beings to well-behaved politicians who realize greed is bad and sharing is good. Having been educated
good
Change preposition
with good
show examples
 qualities, potential
leaders
Use synonyms
 will care about their nations more, and the history of mankind is full of
such
Linking Words
 examples –
such
Linking Words
 as Umar ibn Khattab, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and so on. Another measure to be taken is demanding
implementation
Correct article usage
the implementation
show examples
 of full democracy, for which
education
Use synonyms
 will play here a major role, too. Transparent policies and reporting of their practice in front of the parliament and democratic representatives will curb, if not prevent,
leaders
Use synonyms
 from abusing their power and usurping their influence to direct the
resources
Use synonyms
 in an unintended direction. In conclusion, as long as ruling authorities continue
misuse
Correct article usage
the misuse
show examples
 of
resources
Use synonyms
 resulting in mal-allotment, poverty will continue to exist.
However
Linking Words
, strong
education
Use synonyms
 and
tough
Correct article usage
a tough
show examples
 democratic society will combat
such
Linking Words
 problems and yield
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
necessary reforms
Submitted by jamshidobloqulov32 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
Look at other essays: