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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some believe that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym or health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that the main need for
fitness
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 is debatable. It is commonly believed that joining a gymnasium or
health
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 centre is the best possible manner in order to maintain
fitness
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.
However
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, there are some people who claim that daily movements are more than enough. In my opinion, I believe that
although
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 everyday activities have some positive aspects,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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going to the gym is more beneficial when it comes to
fitness
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. Gyms have a generally positive effect on both
health
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 and
fitness
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. One key benefit is that
health
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 clubs have a variety of tools and machines.
In other words
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, people can train every muscle in their
body
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. Taking the trapezius muscle as an example, there is no single daily action that can exercise
this
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 muscle.
Thus
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, training the whole
body
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 can be
only
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done only
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 at the gym.
On the other hand
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, some people think that target is what should be concerned when doing daily exercises.
This
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 means that if the target is losing fat, walking and climbing stairs are enough. A growing
body
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 of research suggests that one hour of moderate-speed walking is equal to 45 minutes of heavy practice at the club.
For instance
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, an American athlete tried to make a comparison between exercising at a sports club and walking on a monthly basis, and the result was somewhat similar. In conclusion,
while
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 daily routine activities can benefit the
body
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's
health
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, they can not hold a candle to training at a gymnasium or a
health
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 club.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clearer stance on the topic by explicitly stating your opinion in the introduction and restating it in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop the logical structure by providing a more balanced discussion of the two views. Utilize transition words and phrases to create a smoother flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and evidence to strengthen the argument.
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