IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Although the position of women in society today has improved, there is still a great deal of sexual discrimination. Do you agree?

#position #women #society #discrimination
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Women
Use synonyms
's contribution to the growth of
society
Use synonyms
 is an indispensable factor. Nowadays, their value is getting improved than in previous years, due to their skills and education.
Although
Linking Words
 male domination is still prevailing in various sectors of
society
Use synonyms
, some fields are widely open and reserved for
women
Use synonyms
. I do not agree that
society
Use synonyms
 contains an immense deal of sexual discrimination. In the past days,
females
Use synonyms
 do not have the freedom to get an education and speech.
For example
Linking Words
, Country like India
females
Use synonyms
 is considered to take care of their family and children. They are getting married at the age of 12. But now, globally, the situation has changed and all the children have equally treated well and sex-colour discriminations are out of
society
Use synonyms
.
Females
Use synonyms
 are getting the selection for armed forces, government level jobs, and even in politics too they are playing tremendous positions.
However
Linking Words
,
females
Use synonyms
 had to face some discrimination according to UN study reports.
Firstly
Linking Words
, underdeveloped societies still face female discrimination. For the upliftment of
women
Use synonyms
 many charitable organisations are now working, by providing free education and making them stay on their own feet.
For example
Linking Words
, ladies from jamaica, Nigeria etc. are now selected to attend world seminars and research departments. In conclusion,
society
Use synonyms
 needs
females
Use synonyms
 as well as males for its development. Avoiding
women
Use synonyms
 from the sectors of
society
Use synonyms
 will not bring good fortune to the nations. I felt that the situations are better than in the older days and more
females
Use synonyms
 are coming forward and contributing to the improvement of their
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dilin1212 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: