‘For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.’ How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

#‘for #children #ability #instrument #suggestion #child

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It has been posited that importance should be given to the ability of

children

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to play musical

instruments

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as much as that given to their literacy skills.

Although

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I do agree with

this

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to an extent and I

also

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understand the significant role

music

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plays in the wholesome growth of kids, I do not

subcribe

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to the fact that the same degree of importance credited to learning to read and write should be ascribed to learning

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music

Replace the word

musical

show examples

instruments

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. To start with, I believe the

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ability

abilty

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ability

to create melodious sounds from

instruments

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is as essential as the ability to put words in writing and to read out written words.

This

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is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the skill has been proven to improve cognitive skills of young

children

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especially as it

assits

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assists

assist

sits

in the building of their dexterity. It has

also

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been shown that when a child plays tunes from a musical

instrument

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, it greatly calms the nerves of that child.

For example

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, a study carried out by the John

Children

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's Centre in 2018 showed that kids who played one musical

instrument

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or the other performed higher in their academics than their colleagues who only sing. It is quite important that the young acquire the musical skill to create melody from musical

instruments

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However

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, it is not sufficient to know

this

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but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

one must

also

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aver his mind to the crucial need for

children

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to learn

this

Linking Words

skill. In order to benefit from the advantages of knowing how to play a

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music

Replace the word

musical

show examples

instrument

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, it is

also

Linking Words

important that kids are taught how to play them; in fact, some of the

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benefits

beneficts

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benefits

such

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as increased

consentration

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concentration

and anxiety control are impacted during the learning process.

For instance

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, the pose of a violin player, though uncomfortable

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atb

Correct your spelling

first

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, is vital to the quality of

music

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he produces and

this

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in turn

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, in turn,

show examples

can teach a learner that rewards

comes

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come

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after perseverance.

Thus

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, learning

musical

Add an article

a musical

show examples

Use synonyms

instrument

Fix the agreement mistake

instruments

show examples

should be held in high

regards

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regard

show examples

when it comes to a child's education. In conclusion, learning musical

instruments

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should be accorded

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show examples

higher stance if not the same as learning how to read and write in

children

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's education and it is of importance that people learn

this

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from their childhood.

Submitted by Dammy on Mon Jul 04 2022

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

367 words

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‘For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.’ How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Some people think we need to give aid to all poor countries. Others, however, argue that we should not give international aid to countries with corruption in their system. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion.

in many countries’ schools have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the cause (problems)of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?