IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. What can be done about this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world
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Every human being requires adequate nutrition to carry out daily numerous functions,
however
Linking Words
, supply is not congruent to demand. Despite the advancement witnessed in
agricultural
Add an article
the agricultural
show examples
 sector,
food
Use synonyms
 supply is basically inadequate
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some people around the globe.
This
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 essay will discuss the possible solutions to
this
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 present issue. To commence with, man as an entity
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 needs
food
Use synonyms
 for survival,
hence
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, he always makes efforts to meet these basic needs
such
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 as
food
Use synonyms
, shelter and clothing.
Consequently
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, to meet man's major need which is
dietary
Replace the word
diet
show examples
,
man
Add an article
the man
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 ventured into agronomy. Advancement in cultivation has witnessed
progressive
Add an article
the progressive
a progressive
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 transformation from peasant farming to modern mechanisation. These
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
ratio
Fix the agreement mistake
ratios
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 should be enough to cater for mankind.
Nonetheless
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, all over the world, a huge number of individuals are still in need of daily
food
Use synonyms
. To illustrate
further
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, statistics
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 shown in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research carried out in a region of Western Africa in 2020 that 68% of the locals have not had their proper and adequate daily nutritional requirement met. To give a clear example, pictures of emaciated babies being carried by black women
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 often captured
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the daily journals depicting hunger,
forlorn
Replace the word
forlornness
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 and devastation. To resolve
this
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 dilemma, the government must encourage research into better yields of crop plants and best breeds of animals, provide more machines to peasant farmers and most importantly, downward review in prices of
Use synonyms
food stuff
Correct your spelling
foodstuff
show examples
.
For instance
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, when the cost of
food
Use synonyms
 is reduced, an average person will be able to feed well. In conclusion, though there has been
progression
Add an article
a progression
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 in agronomics,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
several individuals do not feed well globally.
Hence
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, to tackle
this
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 menace, it is expedient
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the governing bodies to bring down the prices of goods for the benefit of all
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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