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Band 5

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships
Nowadays everyone has a smartphone and many
people
 use social
media
. A recent survey suggested that 90% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young adults
has
Change the verb form
have
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 some kind of social
media
.
This
 number is very high, social
media
 has
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 benefits but can
also
 have
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 negative impact.
First
 of all, social
media
 is good middle to communicate with each other and to show your friends what you are up to. Another positive aspect is that it is a good distraction from work or school. It is possible to watch some small videos,
for example
 on Tik Tok. In my point of view, it is
also
 good for being updated about the news in the world. Especially for the young adults, because they do not watch tv anymore.
However
, many young adults follow a lot of
Add a hyphen
so-called
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so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
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 "influencers". These are
people
 with a lot of followers and have a perfect life on social
media
.
This
 has a huge influence on young
people
,
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apply
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 because they think it is normal to have a perfect body and to have four cars with a big house.
This
 plays a huge role in why so many young
people
 have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
depression. Another downside is that it is really addictive,
this
 is due to the advanced algorithm that all social
Correct your spelling
media
meida
Correct your spelling
media
 platforms are using. A recent interview that was done among young
people
 showed that at least 50% spend more than 4 hours a day on social
media
. In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
this
 number is shocking. To conclude, social
media
 will never go away and it is really fun.
However
, for young
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 it can be dangerous if you watch it
to
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too
show examples
 often.
That is
 why I think it should be good to have lessons about social
media
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 school.
Submitted by luuk.boot on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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