IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A friend is considering buying a house nearby, but you have decided to leave the area due to a rise in crime. Write a letter to your friend advising them not to move into the neighborhood. In your letter: - Recommend that your friend not go ahead with the purchase - Give the reasons behind your decision to leave - Suggest possible alternative areas that you know

#friend #house #area #rise #crime #move #neighborhood #purchase #decision #alternative #areas
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Dear Dee, Hope you are doing well. I heard from Tony that you are about to close a purchase deal for a villa in
Al
Correct article usage
the Al
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 Barsha
area
Use synonyms
. I am so glad that you are happy and congratulations in advance.
However
Linking Words
, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to make you aware of the rising crimes in the
area
Use synonyms
 as I reside in the same neighbourhood.
This
Linking Words
area
Use synonyms
 is witnessing a number of mishappenings throughout days and nights. There are recent cases where the robbers have looted
the
Correct article usage
apply
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houses at
a
Correct article usage
apply
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gun point
Correct your spelling
gunpoint
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. Not only during
night
Add an article
the night
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, but I heard a fresh case that happened during the day; where
burglurs
Correct your spelling
burglars
burgers
 entered the house by breaking the lock at around 2 pm. Apart from thefts, there are 2-3 nascent cases of murders and
accused
Correct article usage
the accused
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 have run away after stealing the emoluments.
Hence
Linking Words
 the
area
Use synonyms
 is no
more safe
Replace the words
safer
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. In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
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 I am as well planning to shift my base to a different location. I would suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply
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look for other areas which
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
 security and community living. The crime rates
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
such
Linking Words
 places viz. Silicon Oasis, Al Jaddaf and Al Karama are negligibly low. Hope you will consider my suggestion and keep yourself safe. Best regards, Ana
Submitted by mamta2310 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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