Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving hapiness.Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with hapiness.Discuss both views.

There has always been a discussion about whether

money

is the solution to all problems. While some people believe that being financially sound is the only way to solve all their problems. While others believe that

money

does not solve all their problems. According to the things in

life

such

as having a loving family, and good

health

are equally important to be happy. In the section below, I will try to discuss whether wealth really brings happiness to one's

life

Firstly

, It is clear in order to survive in

this

world an individual needs

money

. But the question arises how much is too much?.

For instance

, We keep reading in newspapers that a rich celebrity has committed suicide. Most of the time the reason given will be depression.

Hence

it is clear that wealth does not buy love, friendship or family members.

Secondly

, most people get involved in a rat race to earn more

money

. In

this

process

Add an article

a process

the process

show examples

they neglect their

health

by having junk food and not proper exercise.

For instance

, I can completely relate

this

to my

life

. I started my career as a Junior Software Developer where I earned less salary. To increase my pay I started working late nights and developed unhealthy habits. After a year I was a Senior associate, but

this

came at a heavy price. I did a random blood test and

Change the capitalization

show examples

was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. I

then

understood that

money

can be made but the

health

which was lost cannot be earned back.

Finally

, As discussed above

Money

can be made and lost but the relations we have with people and the love from our loved ones

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

very much required to have a happy

life

. Another point is that the biggest

invest

Replace the word

investment

show examples

one can make is having

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good

health

. Because if we can't drive a car we can hire a driver but we cannot hire someone to take our illness.

Submitted by nagasaichaitanya on Tue Jul 05 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
basic needs
diminishing returns
materialism
personal growth
mindset
self-worth
social status
philanthropy
well-being
experiences
generosity
fulfilling
reduces stress
escalate
acquiring wealth
sense of security
comparative wealth
excessive focus
leisure activities

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Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving hapiness.Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with hapiness.Discuss both views.

Your opinion

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh disadvantages?

Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastimes than spending all day indoors. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the ​growing traffic and pollution problems.

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems.