IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe social media is very important in our daily life, other believe it is waste of time. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

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There is an ever-increasing use of technology,
such
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 as the internet and social
media
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. It is frequently argued that it is an absolutely necessary part of our survival,
while
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 others disagree and expect that it is a misuse of
one
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's
time
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. In my opinion, I believe these platforms have more benefits.
Also
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,
this
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 essay will examine both aspects discussed in
further
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 paragraphs. It is quite obvious that advancement in technology has provided
people
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 with uncountable things and social networking
sites
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 are a boon to everyone. With these networking sources,
one
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 can easily connect with their loved ones and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
follow famous
people
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 around the globe.
In other words
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,
one
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 can share pictures, and videos and browse other stuff of their desires.
Moreover
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, social
media
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 is accessible anywhere at any
time
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 in the world. Facebook is a prime example where
people
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 can join anyone and has many features to keep
people
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 engaged like
one
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 can check the videos of prominent singers or
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 some new dishes posted by great chiefs.
Therefore
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 these platforms are connecting
people
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 globally and popularity than before.
However
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, many disagree and feel that social networking
sites
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 are not useful in daily life and it is a total waste of their precious
time
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 as human interaction is deprived.
Add many
Verb problem
Many
show examples
 youngsters are so engaged in these sources that they do not want to spend
time
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 with their family and relatives.
For example
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, a survey conducted by Star newspaper found that 60 % of
people
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 have cut down by not attending family unions and prefer social
media
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 over the family.
Thus
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, social
media
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 is cutting down human interaction. From my perspective, I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that these networking
sites
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 are more useful as
people
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 are getting a source of entertainment and find some useful stuff to watch.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
people
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 share important news and new updates.
For instance
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, many small companies put an advertisement for job openings or upcoming job events which can be important for new graduates. In conclusion,
while
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 there are more benefits of social
media
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 to being in touch with family and friends and browsing other news, some still feel that it is completely useless.
However
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, as long as
people
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 are careful to keep in mind the importance of human interaction in life and not be cut down, networking
sites
Use synonyms
 have more advantages and play a crucial part nowadays.

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Task Achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. Make sure to explicitly state your stance on the issue rather than just saying you believe one side has more benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear central idea. Introduce and summarize the main point effectively at the beginning and end of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Using linking words can help guide the reader and enhance the logical flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
In your conclusion, briefly restate your main points along with your opinion. This will help to reinforce your arguments and provide a better summary of your stance.
Task Achievement
Your essay covers both views of the argument, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
You have provided specific examples to support your arguments, which adds credibility to your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for coherence.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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