IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people use distance learning programmes to study at home, but others think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #distance #programmes #study #home #college #university
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Learning does come with a continuous effort, and
mode
Correct article usage
the mode
show examples
 of learning could be endless.
However
Add a comma
,However
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 education is classified into two broad categories :
distance
 learning and attending colleges or universities. Through
this
 essay, I disagree that learning from
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
show examples
 way will be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more beneficial than
distance
 learning. To start with,
most
Add an article
the most
a most
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 crucial benefit I see with
distance
 learning
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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 is that students can
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 themselves in other online/
distance
 learning
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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, wherein
Add an article
a student
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 can earn dual
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 within the specified time period.
For example
, when I was
student
Correct article usage
a student
show examples
, I enrolled myself
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
distance
Correct article usage
a distance
show examples
 learning
program
,one in
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
 in computer application from Delhi
University
, and
second
Correct article usage
a second
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 in bachelor in data science through
pune
Change the capitalization
Pune
show examples
university
. It helped a lot in
a
Change the word
my
show examples
 professional growth.
However
such
dual
Correct article usage
a dual
show examples
 degree cannot be obtained if
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
pursue
Change the verb form
pursues
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through through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
classroom learning.
Distance
Add an article
A distance
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 learning
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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 can be completed
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a minimal cost, whereas hefty
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to pay to the college/
University
, plus there will be a living cost if a particular college or
university
situated
Add a missing verb
is situated
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 in
other city
Change the wording
another city
other cities
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, rather than home town.
Furthermore
,
distance
Correct article usage
the distance
show examples
 learning curriculum
distributed
Add a missing verb
is distributed
show examples
 across weeks,followed by weekly and monthly
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
. With
this
roboust
Correct your spelling
robust
 learning structure ,students will complete their course
week wise
Add a hyphen
week-wise
show examples
 and
tried
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 their best to obtain
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
.
However
,
such
learning
Correct article usage
a learning
show examples
 path is missing in traditional classes room learning.
For example
, during graduation time I had to work hard to get at least 65%
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
overall
Add an article
the overall
show examples
 weekly test ,
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 I was not eligible to write for
monthly
Correct article usage
the monthly
show examples
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
.
Distance learning
Add a hyphen
Distance-learning
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 would be more effective if
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 is working professional and pursue
course
Add an article
a course
show examples
 in the same field.
For example
 ,when I
when I
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
was working in Zee technology,I pursued
distance
Correct article usage
a distance
show examples
program
 in
master
Correct article usage
a master
show examples
 of computer application, and
working
Correct pronoun usage
my working
show examples
 experience helped me a lot in understanding topics covered in
syllabus
Add an article
the syllabus
show examples
, plus submitting practical projects. To conclude
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
as per
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my opinion
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distance
 running could be more effective than classroom learning, where students can take maximum benefits if
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 has
clear
Correct article usage
a clear
show examples
 vision
towards
Change preposition
of
show examples
carrier
Correct pronoun usage
their carrier
show examples
 path.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-learning
  • Virtual classroom
  • Self-paced learning
  • Asynchronous/synchronous sessions
  • Digital divide
  • Interactive learning
  • Accreditation
  • Webinar
  • MOOC (Massive Open Online Courses)
  • Pedagogy
What to do next:
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