IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it is better to have many short holidays during the year. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vacations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #holidays #year #vacations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
\Holidays are very important for
people
Use synonyms
 to get relax and have their mind off from routine
work
Use synonyms
, and spend
time
Use synonyms
 with their family. Even though,
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
 like holidays, there are
Add an article
a group
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
off
Replace the word
of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
 that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should be more frequent and short in duration. Where other
people
Use synonyms
 disagree with it and
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
, it is okay to have
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer holidays
show examples
holiday
Use synonyms
 but
duration
Correct article usage
the duration
show examples
 must be longer. I am supporting the
second
Linking Words
 group.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 On the one hand, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that if
Use synonyms
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
 are shorter and more frequent, they will get more
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
 to relax from their heavy
work
Use synonyms
-load and recharge
them self
Correct your spelling
themself
themselves
show examples
. For
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, some jobs have
continues
Replace the word
continuous
show examples
 heavy
work
Use synonyms
pressor
Correct your spelling
pressure
show examples
 and
employs
Replace the word
employees
show examples
 get tired very often.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, their productivity will
also
Linking Words
decreases
Change the verb form
decrease
show examples
. If they give more and short
Use synonyms
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
 they will
be get
Change the verb form
get
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to relax, and productivity will increase.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that vacations should be longer and less frequent, it will give them two benefits.
First
Linking Words
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 can more focus on
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, and
secondly
Linking Words
, they can spend more
time
Use synonyms
 with their family.
For example
Linking Words
, if
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 holidays
then
Linking Words
, there will be more
continues
Replace the word
continuous
show examples
 working
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
 without break and
people
Use synonyms
 can focus on
work
Use synonyms
, and when
Use synonyms
Add an article
a holiday
show examples
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
 like Christmas
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
, the will be
lone
Add an article
a lone
show examples
vacation
Use synonyms
, so they can spend enough quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their family or can travel far places to enjoy
Use synonyms
vacation
Add an article
the vacation
a vacation
show examples
. In my opinion,
Use synonyms
vacation
Add an article
a vacation
show examples
 should be less and for
long duration
Add a hyphen
long-duration
show examples
 so we can
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 for family.
In addition
Linking Words
, every week we have Sunday to get relax. so no need for other short holidays. To conclude, some
people
Use synonyms
 want
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
 and more
holiday
Use synonyms
 to get rest, and other
people
Use synonyms
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
loner
Correct article usage
a loner
show examples
vacation
Use synonyms
 to enjoy and travel far places with their family and rest of the year they can focus on
work
Use synonyms
Submitted by nic86 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: