IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In many cities many people are living alone What are the reason for it? Is this a positive or a negative?

#cities #people #reason
The chart below shows information about the amount of
carbon
dioxide
 (CO2) one person releases into
atmosphere
Add an article
the atmosphere
show examples
 which is collected from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
Sweden
, Italy and Portugal from 1967 to 1967 At
Correct your spelling
first
frist
Correct your spelling
first
 in 1967, there were more than 1,5
tonnes
 of CO2 per person discharged in Portugal, 4,2-tonne in Italy, 8,8
tonnes
 of gases in
Sweden
 and the highest one was
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 with 10,4
tonnes
 of
carbon
dioxide
 per citizen. ( The
UK
 and
Sweden
 have the most emissions of the 4 countries with about 10,4 tons and 8,8 tons respectively in 1977, 4 times more than Italy and 5 times more than Portugal). While other
countries’s
Remove the s
countries’
show examples
gases
Fix the agreement mistake
gas
show examples
 releases increased to
alarming
Add an article
an alarming
show examples
 level in 1977, the rate in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
stabilize
Change the verb form
stabilizes
show examples
 and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
tended to decrease.
During
Change preposition
From
show examples
 1977 to 1997, the trend of
carbon
dioxide
 emissions had two different ways. The
Correct your spelling
first
frist
Correct your spelling
first
 one which had the increasing rate, the developing countries tended to
went
Change the form of the verb
go
show examples
 up include Portugal ( from 2,1 to 5,3
tonnes
) and Italy (from 6,1 to 7,8
tonnes
). Whereas, in
Sweden
, there was a sudden fall of 6
tonmes
Correct your spelling
tonnes
 and 8,8
tonnes
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
Lastly
, the figures for
Sweden
 and Portugal were at about 5,7
tonnes
 while they
they
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
reached about 8
tonnes
 in both Italy and
UK
 in 2007. Overall, the inhabitants of the
UK
 are responsible for the highest discharge of all time. ( At the downward trends are considered to be connected with the changes
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 economic development and high-, tech inventions which reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
carbon
dioxide
)
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: