Some people think to be successful, you need to get in a university education, whereas other say that it is not true. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The efficiency of
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
on a
people
Use synonyms
’s
life
Use synonyms
is debatable. Some individuals opine that it is
must
Correct article usage
a must
show examples
to get a
university
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
become
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
,
while
Linking Words
others oppose
this
Linking Words
view. I believe that higher
education
Use synonyms
is necessary
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
person
Use synonyms
’s
life
Use synonyms
but a
person
Use synonyms
can be effectual without
third level
Add a hyphen
third-level
show examples
education
Use synonyms
.  The prime reason why some
people
Use synonyms
believe that success depends on tertiary
education
Use synonyms
is that it is essential
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
professional
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
such
Linking Words
as
Job
Use synonyms
, Teaching, and Scientist etc.
An
Change the article
A
show examples
university
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
is
mustly
Correct your spelling
mostly
needed for
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of occupation. Completing higher
education
Use synonyms
on a specific subject can give a
person
Use synonyms
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
job
Use synonyms
on
this
Linking Words
individual platform which may help to become
effectual
Replace the word
effective
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, if a
person
Use synonyms
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
to get a
job
Use synonyms
in a
comanies
Correct your spelling
company
accounting department, the company will
Linking Words
firstly
Change the word
first
show examples
check how
much qualification
Change the quantifier
many qualifications
show examples
he/she
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
subject. Without a higher
degree
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
accounting,
this
Linking Words
person
Use synonyms
can get
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
. So, the more tertiary
education
Use synonyms
you have, the greater chance there will be to become successful
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
professional
Add an article
a professional
show examples
career.  
On the other hand
Linking Words
, those who say that
acievement
Correct your spelling
achievement
does not depend on
third level
Add a hyphen
third-level
show examples
education
Use synonyms
give their reason
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that a talented
person
Use synonyms
can become successful without
institutional
Add an article
an institutional
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
. History says that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
many of the famous
people
Use synonyms
of the world become famous
due to
Linking Words
their greatest invention which we constantly use in our daily
life
Use synonyms
, but those
people
Use synonyms
did not complete a graduation
degree
Use synonyms
. Mark
juckerbag
Change the capitalization
Juckerbag
show examples
,
for instance
Linking Words
,
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
of the
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
reaches
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
and
founder
Correct article usage
the founder
show examples
of Facebook - the most popular technology
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the earth, but he failed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
his 12th class.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are lots of
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
show examples
where you can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
become famous
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if you have
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
talent or skill. To be more specific, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
famous
actor
Fix the agreement mistake
actors
show examples
and athletes
such
Linking Words
as
Footballer
Fix the agreement mistake
footballers
show examples
has
Verb problem
do
show examples
not
any
Add a missing verb
have any
show examples
higher
education
Use synonyms
. So without a higher
education
Use synonyms
, a
person
Use synonyms
can be successful.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
Use synonyms
is a valuable
acievement
Correct your spelling
achievement
achievements
in a
person
Use synonyms
’s
life
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
think it is the only key to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
efectual
Correct your spelling
effective
;
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
others
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
with them. In my opinion, it is needed if a
person
Use synonyms
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
to be made a
prefessional
Correct your spelling
professional
career but there are lots of
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
show examples
where it is not important to become
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
.
Submitted by ahmedshahriar448 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Expand on the reasons why higher education may not be necessary for success, providing more specific examples. Use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure each point is supported with evidence.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly addresses the prompt, and provide a balanced view of both perspectives. Focus on supporting your ideas with relevant and specific examples, avoiding repetition.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • higher pay
  • sweated and sacrificed
  • higher education
  • time, effort, and financial investment
  • specialized knowledge and skills
  • job prospects
  • economic contributions
  • valuable contributions
  • fairness and equality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: