Smokers can cause themselves serious health problems. The choice to smoke is made freely and with knowledge of the dangers. Smokers should therefore expect to pay more for medical treatment that non-smokers. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#smokers #health #choice #smoke #dangers #treatment #non-smokers

Nowadays, the

number

smokers

is increasing rapidly as newer methods of smoking

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

introduced, namely electronic

cigarettes

. As the decision to become one is made voluntarily despite all the possible dangers, I believe

smokers

should be responsible to spend more money

for

Change preposition

show examples

treatments compared to those who are non-

smokers

. In recent times, it is evidence that smoking has become more popular. One of the

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

because

Replace the word

that

show examples

companies offer alternatives to the way people

smoke

by introducing new types of non-conventional

cigarettes

In addition

this

, the methods used by the company to advertise their tobacco products are advancing, and in

turn

Add a comma

,turn

show examples

attracting more young individuals to start smoking at

early

Add an article

an early

show examples

age.

As a result

, smoking has become the

number

one issue

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which many countries are starting to face. As the

number

cigarettes

consumed is rapidly growing, the negative impacts of

this

have become more apparent. Many nations have witnessed a quick increase in smoking-related diseases

such

as cancer, stroke, and pneumonia.

Although

some governments have tried to limit the

number

for example

by imposing higher cigarette excise, the problem is still so far from being controlled.

This

is mainly caused by the decision to keep consuming

cigarettes

that are made freely by

smokers

despite all the consequences to the non-

smokers

As a result

, more people are getting sick, including non-

smokers

, as the

smoke

produced from smoking

also

has horrible effects on those who don’t

smoke

. To conclude, as more individuals are persuaded to

smoke

at an early age by means of advertisement, its drawbacks from it have become inevitable. To overcome

this

problem, I believe they should be responsible and it would be fair for

smokers

to pay higher medical expenses.

Submitted by hanwanhyuk on Wed Jul 06 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Smokers can cause themselves serious health problems. The choice to smoke is made freely and with knowledge of the dangers. Smokers should therefore expect to pay more for medical treatment that non-smokers. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In spite of many advances women have made in education and employment, they continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. In your view, what should be done to promote equality of opportunity for men and women in the workplace?

When it comes to workplace, we normally think we have to go there to work. A lot of us commute work every day. However, there are some people who work remotely at their homes or away from their offices. What do you think is the reason why some companies permit their employees to work this way?

‘Healthcare should always be funded by governments, and it should always be free for people to use.’ To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?