IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that a child should be brought up by not only parents but also other relatieves. To what extent do you agree?

Some
people
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 believe that even if bringing up
children
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 is a fundamental responsibility of
parents
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, grandparents should
also
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 take part in
children
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’s nurture. I totally agree with
this
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 position, as the older generation is not only likely to pass their life experience to kids through communication but
also
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 can help to reduce babysitting and caregiver costs. There are numerous reasons why the closest relatives should be involved
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 kids’ life.
Firstly
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, grandparents have ample
time
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 to devote to sitting with their grandchildren as
people
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 who reached retirement age have much more free
time
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 than the middle-aged group because they do not have to work.
Moreover
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, close communication with relatives will help in creating a close-knit family and a more nurturing environment for youngsters.
Thus
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, surrounded by love and care in childhood from close family members, adults are more able to create new families with strong relationships within.
Furthermore
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, old
people
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 who raised their
children
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 definitely have experience in parenting and can be considered
as
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apply
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experienced educators.
This
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 allows the
parents
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 of the child not to spend money on paying for a babysitter and at the same
time
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 leave the child with trusted
people
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.
Moreover
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, the more
time
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parents
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 have for themselves, the more they are filled with energy and vitality, which will definitely help to avoid conflict situations between
parents
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 and
children
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.
Generation
Correct article usage
The generation
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 gap issue has really spread among modern families as nowadays
people
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 tend to give a child birth later than it was some
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 ago.
However
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 sufficient rest from
children
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 will help
parents
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 pay more attention to kids when they come home, which will help to reduce disagreements and create a more nurturing environment for
children
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. In conclusion, I do admit that today's
parents
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 have multiple options to raise their babies , but I believe that nurturing young persons with the whole family members ultimately gives a happy family life for both mother and father and
children
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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