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Band 2

Do you think the retirement age should be raised ??

#retirement #age
The age of leaving
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
 is a great
Correct your spelling
topic
tpoic
Correct your spelling
topic
 to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
some aspects of
this
 statement , so I am going to explore
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 issue to clarify it .
Withdraw
Wrong verb form
Withdrawing
show examples
 a job is calculated by considering many features
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
first
,the life expectancy is the most important
distincting
Correct your spelling
distinction
distinctive
 factor to limit the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 to be active in
career
 life,
for example
, when medical doctors have reached to stay in their home ,the vast majority of them cannot do
this
 decision because they are healthy in bodies and mental state ,while the worker that had a
workholic
Correct your spelling
workaholic
 job so, they would prefer to leave
this
 situation and having investment on their own
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
.
Second
, calculating the age that individual must finish their activity
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 is depended
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their level of health , type of their
career
 and person's preference,
for example
, someone would like to travel as a tourist around
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 ,but , their
career
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
limit
Change the verb form
limited
show examples
 their to having a happy time for living ,
Submitted by homa.ebrahimi987 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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