IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Children's education is expensive. In many countries, governments pay education fees for children. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#children #education #countries #governments #fees #outweigh
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Providing
Correct your spelling
financial
finantial
Correct your spelling
financial
 aid from
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 toward the academic
life
Use synonyms
 of citizens is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
conversial
Correct your spelling
controversial
conversion
 topic
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
investment
investement
Correct your spelling
investment
 of national wealth may
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
limit other sectors and
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 imbalance across the country,so, I am going to explore
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each side to clarify
this
Linking Words
 statement . In the beginning ,pay more attention to providing a proper condition to educate each child
whitought
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what ought
 wonders will a
sourve
Correct your spelling
source
 of flourished a nation. Some parents do not believe that sending their kids to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school is essential for their future
life
Use synonyms
 because they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not enough expenditure for a routine living ,so,they may be deciding that spending their wealth in
this
Linking Words
 way is not their
priorities
Fix the agreement mistake
priority
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, but, with helping the government each kid will have own tuition for schooling ,at a result ,
unequality
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inequality
 among rich and poor families will be stopped and they will be more satisfied from their
life
Use synonyms
,in the end ,we can eradicate the
illitracy
Correct your spelling
illiteracy
 from the world and have a more aware person to
dealing
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deal
show examples
 with the future problems ,
similarly
Linking Words
 the discrimination is the source of insecurity will
be vanished
Change to the active voice
vanish
have vanished
show examples
.
Second
Linking Words
,budget allocation for continuing academic education for freshers is the responsibility of policymakers, because they have the authority to
controling
Correct your spelling
controlling
control
all natural
Add a hyphen
all-natural
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 resources of the country and they must invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the proper way for establishing infrastructures of the community and it is
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
children are the most important part of that,
however
Linking Words
, focusing on the expenditure in
this
Linking Words
 regard may be limit the budget to assigning in other sectors ,so,it needs to
designing
Change the form of the verb
design
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 the general plan for managing the national finances in supporting from the
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 demands to secure the schooling .
Finally
Linking Words
,Families and
Correct your spelling
government
Correct article usage
the governement
show examples
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 must cooperate together to handle
this
Linking Words
 issue. To
summerize
Correct your spelling
summarize
show examples
, spending a wealth of the land on the academic
life
Use synonyms
 of freshers have many beneficial impacts
such
Linking Words
 as having a great
numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
number
show examples
 of people who are professional and
illitrate
Correct your spelling
illiterate
illustrate
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
means they will be able to solve the possible problems in the future for all human ,
in addition
Linking Words
,the lack of scientific literacy will hurt in
speed
Add an article
the speed
show examples
 of progress and limit the civilization,
however
Linking Words
,government and families must correct response to needs of children that gaining
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
 is the primary right .
Submitted by homa.ebrahimi987 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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