IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why it is so and the outcomes of this situation. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#countries #people #move #part #country #retirement #outcomes #situation #support
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Nowadays
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Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
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, the easy way to get a lot of benefit and profit to ensure
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
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 is the best is to live far or
an
Change preposition
in an
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 environment
Correct pronoun usage
that suit
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suit
Change the verb form
suits
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 us the best.Today,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will discuss with you
about
Change preposition
apply
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the two
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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about
Change preposition
of
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 the situation
more
Change preposition
in more
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 detail and
accurance
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accuracy
assurance
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
for people
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 who
wants
Change the verb form
want
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 to live without noise with
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 their ear move out to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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overseas will be the best solution.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can enjoy their
live
Replace the word
lives
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 to the fullest with the small amount of time they have.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
move
Correct pronoun usage
who move
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 oversea can test their
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 and knowledge from their own countries side to a new and strange place.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Moving out after their departure
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
 who have a side of themself bashful and scared of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society can meet up with new
people
Use synonyms
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,it is a wonderful idea for
people
Use synonyms
 who have a less amount of salary in their previous job can have a new job right now.
For example
Linking Words
, Donald Trump is a famous president and one of the most well-known
people
Use synonyms
 in the United State and he was able to secure the love of most
people
Use synonyms
 in his hometown
by
Change preposition
through
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 his experience of living and learning about another country
Although
Linking Words
, living aboard is a good idea but there are some unbeneficial for some
people
Use synonyms
 more likely the
people
Use synonyms
 who don't have the courage to keep up the trend in the future.
People
Use synonyms
 who have a high risk of contrasting amnesia and cardiovascular disease lend them to have a less normal life than normal
people
Use synonyms
 In summary,
this
Linking Words
 suit most of us
people
Use synonyms
 in our own social status and
this
Linking Words
 problem is a solution for
people
Use synonyms
 who intend to change their style of life.
Submitted by vothanhchuong06 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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