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Band 4.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #cultures #ages
It is said that
one
 of the strongest forces that can gather
people
 from various cultural
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
 and ages is
music
. I agree with
this
 argument that
music
 is a universal language
that is
 understandable to all.
Firstly
, musicals are understandable to almost everyone in the world. Whenever we hear
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any
songs
Fix the agreement mistake
song
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 no matter what language it is sung,
people
 immediately perceive that it is a work of art and think it is worth listening
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
Musical
Add an article
The musical
show examples
 is like a fluid that can flow into the hearts of
people
 without having
a
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apply
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special permission. Having conquered the hearts,
songs
 bring
people
 together in concert halls or other places to have themselves listened
again
Change preposition
to again
show examples
.
People
 usually go to concerts to listen to
music
. If
music
 were not played in concerts it would be hard to collect them
into
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in
show examples
one
 place.
Secondly
, debates and disputes usually separate
people
 from
one
 another, while musicals help them come together. Since
music
 has no polarizing aspect,
people
 listen to it without having any superior attitude
to
Change preposition
toward
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 anyone,
as a result
, under the effect of
songs
people
 can easily be gathered.
For example
, in several eastern
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
people
 collectively come together to wedding parties where
songs
 are usually sung. In conclusion, some say
one
 of the most effective ways to collect
people
 is
music
. I
also
 believe that it is like a universal language which can easily collect
people
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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