IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the key to reduce accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both views.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's era, the populations have different views about
road
Use synonyms
 safety. A number of people claim that punishment should be given strictly to decrease driving offences.
while
Linking Words
 others assume that a range of other actions should be taken at the same time.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, these days growing populations and vehicles on
Use synonyms
road
Add an article
the road
show examples
 lead to so many
road
Use synonyms
 accidents. So, strict punishment should be given to drivers if they drive in a bad
way
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there is should be high penalties should be taken on drivers who drive in a dangerous
way
Use synonyms
 and break the traffic
rules
Use synonyms
 like not using
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 seat belt when driving. It will set an example for automobile holders that they could be panelized if they cross
such
Linking Words
 limits as fines and prison sentences. if
this
Linking Words
 can be done in a good
way
Use synonyms
 it will result in driving
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
discipline and they will follow shipment
rules
Use synonyms
 more accurately.
Secondly
Linking Words
, travel accidents can be stopped by some precautions. first and foremost schools should teach traffic
rules
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 primary classes which will surely help them to be a good driver in the
coming
Correct word choice
near
show examples
 future.
Linking Words
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 addition, the government should set up highway design in a better
way
Use synonyms
. like, they can set up good safety marks on the edge of the
road
Use synonyms
 which motivates people to drive safely and with the radium warning signs they should be aware of speed breakers and diversions.
last
Linking Words
 but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
least, there should be some training classes should be held before giving a driving license to people.
For example
Linking Words
, in
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
 countries, drivers need to pass specific examinations about traffic and driving
rules
Use synonyms
 to get eligible for a license.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is believed that hard punishment can prevent bad driving on highways.
however
Linking Words
, improvement in pathway signs and training classes before issuing the license can
also
Linking Words
 help to shrink
road
Use synonyms
 accidents.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the prompt and provides a clear opinion and supporting points for both views.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows a logical progression and good use of linking words. However, consider organizing the ideas more coherently within paragraphs for a smoother flow of information.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Strict punishment
  • Driving offences
  • Accidents
  • Deterrent
  • Reckless driving
  • Penalties
  • Fines
  • License suspension
  • Imprisonment
  • Law and order
  • Potential offenders
  • Fear
  • Education
  • Awareness campaigns
  • Mindset
  • Safe driving habits
  • Infrastructure
  • Traffic management systems
  • Licensing procedures
  • Testing procedures
  • Skilled drivers
  • Public transportation
  • Carpooling
  • Vehicles
  • Advanced safety technologies
  • Enhance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: