Celebrities are famous for their weath and glamorous lifestyle instead of their achievements. This sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #weath #lifestyle #achievements #sets #people

As technology develops rapidly, more and more

celebrities

use social media to show off their fancy lifestyle.

Furthermore

, most of the stars are well known for their

glamor

Change the spelling

glamour

show examples

and wealth rather than their career achievements. So, I truly agree that

this

sets a terrible example for the younger generation.

Celebrities

are not as contributive as other jobs

such

as doctors, teachers, engineers...etc.

However

, there are a few exceptions;

for example

, Jackie Chan,

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is a famous Chinese action actor. Jackie Chan is one of the most dedicated actors in the world as in most of the dangerous scenes; he performs on his own without stunt doubles.

Moreover

, Jackie Chan created a foundation and donated to help poverty. Positive

role

models

can inspire

teenagers

and help them to become better people.

Nevertheless

, the majority of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities

set negative

role

models

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

Aun, who is a young,rich TikTok celebrity from Ethiopia. He always likes to show off his wealth on his Instagram, expensive cars, luxury

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

, fancy houses...etc.

In addition

this

causes public dissatisfaction because Ethiopia is an underdeveloped country, and he doesn't have any contributions to human society. All of his properties are from his parents, which wouldn't be positive for other young people. Negative

role

models

can negatively impact

teenagers

;

additionally

this

might signal to

teenagers

that the gap between rich and poor cannot be achieved by hard work. Overall, there are more notorious

celebrities

Celebrities

earn higher incomes and have fewer contributions to the world. In my opinion,teachers and doctors are the best

role

models

for young people.

As a result

, I believe that negative

celebrities

are bad examples for

teenagers

Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on Thu Jul 07 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Celebrities are famous for their weath and glamorous lifestyle instead of their achievements. This sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today's technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Having More Opportunities to Choose

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend while others argue that it leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

The best curriculum is not one based on a static body of knowledge, but one which teaches students to cope with change. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some culture, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message. Give your reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.