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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a sucessful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #university #college #route #sucessful #career #job #school
It is a common belief that learners should pay a cost for their
education
 due to many reasons.
However
, I firmly believe that there shouldn’t be any barrier for students to achieve knowledge. Regarding the curriculum's fee, in my
pointview
Correct your spelling
point view
, it is
considerably
Replace the word
considered
show examples
 necessary to be free for all individuals in a country.
Although
this
 action can cause some
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 in the government's budget, broadening
Correct your spelling
civilians's
cilvilians’s
Remove the s
cilvilians’
show examples
 horizons is extremely important to enhance people’s
education
 level and develop modern society.
For instance
, there is no payment for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning in Finland and
this
 country
also
 has a low rate
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
society’s
Change noun form
society
show examples
 problems. Without higher awareness
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
 citizens, cities may be full of crimes because many do harm to others for their own benefit. On top of that, it is unfair for children who were born in lower-class families
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
 opportunities to obtain schooling. With the high-paid for tuition, these kids not only be restricted access to
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 system but
also
 be forced to earn money at an unsuitable age because of
families's
Remove the s
families'
show examples
 financial problems in that free time.
Hence
, they have to mature at an extremely young age,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to a life without any happiness. To sum up, no limit in
education
 is a wonderful key for
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
 improvement as well as fairly treating all civilians in a country. For all of these reasons, I strongly agree that
education
 should not be in charge for all levels.
Submitted by luudang97 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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