IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country
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The given line graphs illustrate the number of
households
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 that own technological devices ( washing
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machine
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machines
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,
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refrigerator
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refrigerators
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,
vacuum
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cleaner
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cleaners
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) and
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hours
Correct article usage
the hours
show examples
 spent on housework.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 1920 people spent exactly 50
hours
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for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 at
home
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, but in 2019 when the percentage of
households
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 with new technologies increased, the number of working
hours
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 at
home
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 declined to 10
hours
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 per week.
At
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In
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 the
beginning
Add a comma
,beginning
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 no one
holded
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hold
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refrigerator
Correct article usage
a refrigerator
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 at
home
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 and only 30% and 40% of them had
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vacuum
Correct article usage
a vacuum
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 cleaner and washing
machine
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 respectively. After 40 years the percentage of
households
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 with
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refrigerator
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refrigerators
show examples
 soared to 90% and reached the highest point. Owners of washing
machine
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 and
vacuum
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 cleaner moderately
rised
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rose
show examples
 to 70%. At the same
time
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,time
show examples
 people spent 30
hours
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 less
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housework than at the start From 1960 to 2019 the percentage of
households
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 who keep
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refrigerator
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refrigerators
show examples
 and
vacuum
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cleaner
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cleaners
show examples
 levelled off and reached 100%
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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,
while
Linking Words
 owners of washing
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machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 slightly increased
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 5%.
Hours
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 spent
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 at
home
Use synonyms
 between 1960 and 2019
Correct your spelling
decreased
dcreased
Correct your spelling
decreased
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 10
hours
Use synonyms
Submitted by olga.sivtsova79 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words households, machine, refrigerator, vacuum, hours, home with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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