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Band 4

It is important for people to take risks, both in their personal lives and professional lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #lives #risk
taking
risks
 both in terms of individual's personal life or career situation is
overally
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overall
advantagous
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advantageous
. I am generally in agreement with
this
 contention due to the potential
of
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for
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 growth and
developing
Replace the word
development
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. Accepting uncertainty in some
profissional
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professional
postions
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positions
 including business
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managers
magaer
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manager
 or marketing manager have
beneficial
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a beneficial
show examples
 impact on their profits . Some
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
show examples
 for expanding their connection
dominent
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dominant
 need to improve their connection with some foreign customers or
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
wise
Add an article
a wise
the wise
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 to
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recognize
reognize
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recognise
 the best
methos
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methods
method
 for the productivity of the company ,
therefore
 accepting all of the drawbacks of
this
 decision and
negotiaitng
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negotiating
 with them . As well as , taking
risks
have
Add the particle
to have
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 a
long term
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long-term
show examples
 impact on the creativity ,
self esteem
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self-esteem
show examples
 and
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experience
experiance
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experience
 of
employee
Add an article
an employee
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especially
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,especially
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 who are really ambitious by giving them
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 to show their talent .
Furthermore
 , not only
accepting
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does accepting
show examples
uncertaiy
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uncertainty
 has
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 effect on
career
Correct article usage
the career
show examples
 environment, but
also
 has
inevitable
Add an article
an inevitable
show examples
 impact on people's private life . A vast majority of adults after finishing high
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school
scholl
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school
 have faced problems in their relationship , which is related to
lack
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a lack
show examples
 of
self -esteem
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self-esteem
show examples
 and based on taking
risks
. Regarding American national magazine , in spite of giving more freedom and providing better educational systems to high school students , but figure out that a
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substantial
substanitial
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substantial
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of them are concerned af frighted to establish
Replace the word
relationships
show examples
relation ship
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relationship
show examples
 .
On the other hand
 , most of the prominent characters in
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different
differnt
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different
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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mentioned that
,
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apply
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their achievement
are
Change the verb form
is
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 owned to
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
ate
Correct your spelling
at
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 the right times. In
onclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
 ,
risk takers
Add a hyphen
risk-takers
show examples
 can
be enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoy
show examples
 the profits of promotion in job fields and serious romantic relationships only by developing
cicmestance
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circumstance
 and their personality to take
risks
.
Submitted by soulmaz.sh71 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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