IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

children can be adversely affected by the influence of television. to what extend to you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.

#children #influence #television
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Influence
Correct article usage
The influence
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 of
television
Use synonyms
 on
children
Use synonyms
 may show severe effects when compared to others.
However
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe in the same.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses the examples and arguments of the agreement.
To begin
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 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sexual content makes
bad
Add an article
a bad
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 impact on
children
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, there are many cases when sexuality is showcased on
television
Use synonyms
,be it in movies, advertisements and many
.
Correct quantifier usage
others.
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Children
Use synonyms
 may come across that and tries to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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it with
parents
Use synonyms
,
in
Correct pronoun usage
which in
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turn
Add the comma(s)
,turn
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 results in
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
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Use synonyms
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
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children
Use synonyms
 bonding, when
response
Add an article
the response
a response
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 is inaccurate. Adding on, advertisements
on
Change preposition
for
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 food and toys, which are
favorites
Change the spelling
favourites
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 of
children
Use synonyms
,
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
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significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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 impact on them. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
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being aware of the fact that they may not be accurate and
health
Add a missing verb
are health
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 hazards, they indulge
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
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 to spend on them, which results in disappointment, if they do not do so.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when turned on to academics,
children
Use synonyms
 prioritize
television
Use synonyms
 over studying. As a consequence, least interest
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
studies,Which leads to less score in academics.
As a result
Linking Words
,
parent
Add a hyphen
parent-children
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children
Use synonyms
 issues.
For instance
Linking Words
, Many suicidal incidences, which
showcased
Add a missing verb
are showcased
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 on social media, are because
of
Change preposition
by
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 restricting
children
Use synonyms
 from watching
television
Use synonyms
, which deviates them from studying. Many
children
Use synonyms
, who are addicted to
television
Use synonyms
, behave as if one of the characters from the movies or cartoons they have watched, if they have negative shades, that may affect
parents
Use synonyms
 and
in
Correct your spelling
indirectly
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directly
Change the adverb
direct
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 society. To recapitulate, I agree with the statement. Sexual content,
advertisements
Correct word choice
and advertisements
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 on
television
Use synonyms
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 the most,
therefore
Linking Words
, resulting
in least
Change the article
in the least
show examples
 academic performance, if the influence is negative indirectly impacts society as well.
Submitted by mk.manasa26 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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