Some people say cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others say this is the only way to save such traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #traditions #attractions #tourists

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The cultural

Correct article usage

Cultural

show examples

traditions

play

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

role in people’s lives.

Therefore

, it is agreed that

keep

Wrong verb form

keeping

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them is very important for everybody and

first

of all for the young generation.

However

, two opinions

are existed

Change to the active voice

exist

have existed

show examples

about the influence of using local rituals as money-making attractions aimed at

tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists

show examples

. Some people say that it destroys it, others say

this

is the only way to save

such

traditions

. We will discuss both sides of

Correct article usage

the arguments

show examples

arguments

Fix the agreement mistake

argument

show examples

before making any conclusion.

Firstly

, a lot of cultural

traditions

were based on

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

mode of life and oriented on

resident

Correct article usage

the resident

show examples

population, but impression hunters can change them.

For example

, the food in the restaurants in touristic places was dramatically changed and international cuisines are substituting the local

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

Thus

, we can see how national customs disappearing in the modern world.

Therefore

, we can say

that cultural

Change the determiner

that cultural tradition

those cultural traditions

show examples

traditions

could be destroyed by tourists.

Nevertheless

, many things were saved only because of using them as money-making attractions.

For instance

, the Maya culture had been almost forgotten until the pyramids were discovered in the Yucatan jungles. It brought tourists to the place and gave a new wave of interest to the local cultural

traditions

As a result

, many of them were saved for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

future generations. To sum up,

both

Change preposition

from both

show examples

points of view we can see that there is no one united opinion

exists

Correct word choice

that exists

show examples

due to the complexity of the problem. I'm more inclined to the point of view that tourism

in general

Add the comma(s)

, in general,

show examples

helps to preserve cultural

traditions

. But the

humanity

Replace the word

human

show examples

still needs to find

Correct article usage

the

show examples

right balance between

generation

Add an article

the generation

show examples

of money and the local value

safety

Change preposition

of safety

show examples

Submitted by vs on Fri Jul 08 2022

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Commercialization
Dilution of cultural traditions
Authenticity
Cultural heritage
Revenue
Financial support
Preservation
Promotion
Commodification of culture
Intrinsic value
Exposure
Global awareness
Respect and understanding
Economic gain
Local communities
Decision-making processes
Respectful portrayal

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Some people say cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others say this is the only way to save such traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

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Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the government should provide free education in all levels. Others argue that university students should pay for their education. Discuss both views.

Nowdays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

Information technology enable many people to do their chores outside their workplace (e.g at home or while travelling) do the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?