Some people say cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others say this is the only way to save such traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The cultural
Correct article usage
Cultural

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traditions
Use synonyms

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play
significant
Add an article
a significant

The noun phrase significant role seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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role in people’s lives.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is agreed that
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb keep. Consider changing it.

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them is very important for everybody and
first
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of all for the young generation.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, two opinions
are existed
Change to the active voice
exist
have existed

It appears you have attempted to use the intransitive verb existed in a passive voice construction. Consider writing the sentence in the active voice.

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about the influence of using local rituals as money-making attractions aimed at
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists

It seems that tourist may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Some people say that it destroys it, others say
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is the only way to save
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

traditions
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. We will discuss both sides of
Correct article usage
the arguments
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Correct article usage
the arguments

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arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
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before making any conclusion.
Firstly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a lot of cultural
traditions
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

were based on
local
Add an article
the local

The noun phrase local mode seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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mode of life and oriented on
resident
Correct article usage
the resident

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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population, but impression hunters can change them.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the food in the restaurants in touristic places was dramatically changed and international cuisines are substituting the local
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones

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.
Thus
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we can see how national customs disappearing in the modern world.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we can say
that cultural
Change the determiner
that cultural tradition
those cultural traditions

It appears that the singular demonstrative that is modifying the plural noun traditions. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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traditions
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

could be destroyed by tourists.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many things were saved only because of using them as money-making attractions.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the Maya culture had been almost forgotten until the pyramids were discovered in the Yucatan jungles. It brought tourists to the place and gave a new wave of interest to the local cultural
traditions
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many of them were saved for
the
Correct article usage
apply

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future generations. To sum up,
both
Change preposition
from both

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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points of view we can see that there is no one united opinion
exists
Correct word choice
that exists

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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due to the complexity of the problem. I'm more inclined to the point of view that tourism
in general
Add the comma(s)
, in general,

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter in general. Consider adding the comma(s).

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helps to preserve cultural
traditions
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. But the
humanity
Replace the word
human

The word humanity doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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still needs to find
a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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right balance between
generation
Add an article
the generation

The noun phrase generation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of money and the local value
safety
Change preposition
of safety

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commercialization
  • Dilution of cultural traditions
  • Authenticity
  • Cultural heritage
  • Revenue
  • Financial support
  • Preservation
  • Promotion
  • Commodification of culture
  • Intrinsic value
  • Exposure
  • Global awareness
  • Respect and understanding
  • Economic gain
  • Local communities
  • Decision-making processes
  • Respectful portrayal
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