Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals form dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Preventing
animals
from becoming extinct has always been a controversial topic. Some people think that we should save these animals
from the brink of extinction. However
, other people contend that we should focus more on issues of human beings. Although
there is some truth in the latter view, I opine that animals
still play a vital role.
On the one hand, it is justifiable why some people subscribe to the view that we should not concentrate on the problems of animals
. First,
there are a lot of society's vices everywhere like drug abuse, raping and many more. All of them are really dangerous and difficult to prevent. So it is understandable why the government is trying their best to solve these problems. Secondly
, saving animals
from the brink of extinction costs a lot of money and some countries don't have enough money to handle this
, the authorities will prioritize the importance of human beings.
On the one hand, I am convinced that it is necessary to protect animals
. Firstly
, animals
, especially mammals can provide humans with various types of food like dairy products, and meat products. Beef,
and chicken is the main source of food so if they all disappear, we just can get meals from vegetables. Remove the comma
apply
Secondly
, animals
play a vital role in economic development. Seafood and poultry are usually exported to other countries, making
a good effect on the economy.
In conclusion, Verb problem
having
although
human beings are more important, we should not neglect the importance of animals
. I suggest that we need to try to save animals
from extinction by eating less meat or avoiding killing animals
.Submitted by binhdinhbk on
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coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by organizing ideas more clearly and coherently.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearer and more well-developed.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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