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Band 2.5

Obesity is a ticking time bomb which will cause healthcare cost to explode. To defuse this situation, all fast food advertising should be banned.

#obesity #time #bomb #healthcare #cost #situation #food
Recently years the number of
the
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apply
show examples
people
 who have excess weight. Because
,
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 obesity is a ticking time bomb which will cause
Correct your spelling
healthcare
healtcare
Correct your spelling
healthcare
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 to explode.
Therefore
, some
people
 consider that all fast
food
 advertising should be banned in order to defuse
this
 situation. I will share my opinion on that issue through
this
 essay. On the one hand,
modern
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the modern
show examples
 living style is becoming so busy day by day. Because of that
people
 don't have
a
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apply
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time to cook healthy
food
 at their home. In
additionally
Replace the word
addition
show examples
, some
people
 work for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time on their computer without physical movement. So,
this
 working condition can be one of the most important causes to gain weight.
On the other hand
, there are many choices of
foods
 which have too much nutrition. Most of those
foods
 are delicious.
Thus
, most
people
, especially children like to have those
foods
.
Finally
, having
a fast
Remove the article
fast food
a portion of fast food
show examples
food
 is
choice
Correct article usage
the choice
show examples
 of the
people
.
Therefore
,
people
 should aware of
negative
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the negative
show examples
 sides of fast
foods
 and make
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 choice for their health.
Additionally
, it is not effectively banning
the
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apply
show examples
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 advertising without
people
 knowing that fast
food
 is very
Correct your spelling
harmful
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
 to our
Correct your spelling
health
healt
Correct your spelling
health
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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