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Band 4.5

Sompe poeple believe that bicycles are the best mode of transport in the cities, while others disgaree. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of both views and give your own opinion.

#sompe #poeple #bicycles #mode #transport #cities #disgaree
In today's, world the usage of motor vehicles has increased so much and
due to
this
 the
pollution
 in the environment has
also
 increased because of
this
 problem people are using bicycles more than usual and
also
 the usage of public transport has increased
similarly
 there are some benefits and demerits of using bicycle lets discuss some in the following paragraph. To start the management of bicycles will reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
 if it reduces the health-related issues
due to
pollution
 will
also
reduce
Verb problem
apply
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moreover
 the ozone layer will not have any impact
for instance
 20 years
back
Rephrase
ago
show examples
 in Antarctica
their
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
use
Replace the word
used
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 to be no ozone layer damage but moving to now there has been a change where the ozone layer is getting damaged
this
 is
due to
 the carbon gas emission from vehicles to reduce
this
 management of bike and public transportation should be used more. The main demerit of using the bike is pupil can use it for short distances only like if the office is nearby or going to nearby hotels to have some food
although
 it can
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
 for short travel it cannot be used for long distances like travelling 10km or 15km it will be hard
additionally
 its time consuming plus we need to have a lot of energy to go to the destination place beside these bicycles cannot be used
while
 going for shopping at
this
 point of time public transport or private transport will help more.
To conclude
 in my point of view using more public transportation is best compared to bikes by
this
 method we can travel
where ever
Correct your spelling
wherever
show examples
 we want without any compromises and at the same time reduce
pollution
 which was the main reason for the usage of bikes in the first place.
Submitted by narendrasai87 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the main topic and your position on it. Also, provide a clear conclusion summarizing your opinion and the main points discussed.
Logical Structure
The logical progression of ideas is lacking in some parts of the essay. Ensure that the ideas are presented in a clear and organized manner.
Lexical Resource
The use of vocabulary and phrases should be more varied and specific to the topic. Avoid repeating the same words or phrases.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to the use of grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. Ensure that sentences are clear, varied, and free from errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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