Studies suggest that the rise in the consumption of junk foods is the major cause of obesity. Some people argue that this problem can be tackled to a great extent by increasing the prices of these food items. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Currently, due to the consumption of junk ,
food
Add a comma
,food
show examples
excessively a greater number of pupils are found themselves overweighed. Arguably some people fix
this
mindset that setting higher prices can be a solution to
this
problem. I am not considering
this
statement a fruitful one, so I personally disagree with the statement. To start with, Obesity has become one of the most pressing issues in recent years.
Initially
, the students put fast
food
on their
food
list as it offers convenient places for social gatherings, for ,instance KFC, and BURGER KING.
Additionally
, the cheaper prices of these fast foods than other foods play a significant role to increase obesity.
As a result
, increasing the prices won’t be a greater approach to keep away the offspring from consuming these rubbish
food
items. To handle
this
problem, there are several reasons to convince their children to avoid
this
food
.
Firstly
, their parents should prepare or provide some mouthwatering cuisine for them when they come back home.
Secondly
, the state government should take responsibility for building harmful awareness of junk cooking.
Therefore
, the practical solutions that can solve
this
problem are for the authorities should be educated citizens to know the appropriate quantity of consuming these foods. To conclude, I do strongly not advocate that others require the government must rising the price of
this
meat.
Although
the government takes a crucial role to fix these problems in numerous aspects, If the citizens prefer to consume, they should admit how risky trash foodstuff is.
Submitted by mdshaifulakbar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • consumption
  • junk foods
  • tackled
  • increasing prices
  • discourage
  • purchasing
  • demographics
  • affordable
  • public health
  • tax revenue
  • education campaigns
  • nutrition
  • affordability
  • accessibility
  • behavioral change
  • holistic measures
  • incentives
  • lifestyle changes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: