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Writing Samples
Band 6

Children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #people #government #responsibility
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In today’s world, due to improper dieting and unhealthy eating habits, people are suffering from obesity, especially
children
. It is often said that the government should take charge of
this
 issue.
This
 article will examine the reasons for my disagreement with the aforementioned assertion.
Firstly
, an important reason behind
this
 situation is the increase in
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of junk food. Because of technological advancements,
this
 type of food is prepared and delivered instantly, which means
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 availability has become abundant. Most importantly, parents should take the responsibility to guide their
children
 rather than have it monitored by the government.
Children
 must be taught about the confrontation of various diseases that are caused by obesity and
also
 unhealthy diets.
For instance
, especially in western countries, people have developed a habit of consuming a lot of junk food
such
 as pizzas, burgers and many more.
Secondly
, educational institutions should play a major role in developing the intellect of students, which in turn helps them to distinguish between good and bad. Teachers should make sure that students are effectively utilizing the playground and attending physiological exercise sessions along with their studies.
Furthermore
, there has been an increase in the establishment of gymnasiums, workouts, yoga, and many more.
As a result
, students should take
this
 as an opportunity to try to develop physical fitness that aids them in maintaining good health. To conclude,
children
 should be made aware of the importance of
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
 and having a healthy lifestyle, especially by their parents and teachers.
Submitted by ppssandeep on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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