It is suggested that all the young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in their community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the community and the young people?
Nowadays, young
people
should be encouraged to volunteer more as volunteerism helps them acquire crucial social skills. More importantly, strong and young volunteers
represent a vital resource for needed
Replace the word
needy
people
. However
, it is debated whether the above mentioned
advantages outweigh some common disadvantages. Personally, I feel that a period of youth voluntary work is convenient not only for Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
youngsters
but also
for the community
.
One of the main benefits that volunteering brings to young people
is to increase opportunities of
employment because they learn some social skills needed in the workplace. First of all, Change preposition
for
volunteers
develop empathy for others and learn to talk far more effectively to other people
. This
will enable them to develop more communication skills. Secondly
, volunteers
devote a lot of time
to doing things in groups. As a result
, they are far more likely to be good at working in teams than people
without volunteer experience. A good example is the fact that many employers highly seek volunteering experience in work applications. Meanwhile, the community
benefits from strong volunteers
as there are always heavy tasks to accomplish. There is no doubt that old volunteers
do not possess as much physical strength as young adults do. This
means that young volunteers
may be resources for specific duties in the community
. For instance
, youngsters
could be allocated to clean the streets of cities.
Yet some people
believe that volunteering is disadvantageous for young people
because it is a waste of time
. For example
, critics argue that if youngsters
who have completed high school devoted their time
to volunteering, they would stop studying for a period. By
Change preposition
On
contrary
, they would be supposed to go to university or college and gain more knowledge. Correct article usage
the contrary
Furthermore
, other people
are of the opinion that youngsters
are often inexpert volunteers
, while
in the community
there are problematic people
such
as orphans and fragile ill people
. This
means that the community
could not have volunteers
able to deal with these people
because young volunteers
do not have enough experience in it. However
, in my opinion
volunteering would allow young Add a comma
opinion,
people
to be more connected with the real world than they would be by attending academic courses, and, also
, they could learn fast to handle delicate situations with an
initial tutoring by experienced Remove the article
apply
volunteers
.
In conclusion, despite the fact that youth volunteering brings some downsides both to young people
such
as stopping for a while
their career paths and the community
which may have a lack of experienced volunteers
, I’m convinced that a period of voluntary work is an investment of time
for young people
and an indispensable resource for the community
.Submitted by claudiareddavid on
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task response
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides relevant arguments. Ensure to address all aspects of the prompt and use specific examples to strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion. To further improve coherence, aim to use transition words and cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.