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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some feel that school uniforms make schools safer for students, create a "level playing field" that reduces socioeconomic disparities and encourage children to focus on their studies rather than their clothes. Others say school uniforms infringe upon students' right to express their individuality, have no positive effect on behaviour and academic achievement. Discuss both sides & give your opinion

#feel #school #uniforms #schools #students #level #field #disparities #children #focus #studies #clothes #right #individuality #effect #behaviour #achievement
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It is a widely held belief that
uniforms
 in educational institutions provide a safer environment and eliminate
social-economic
Correct your spelling
socioeconomic
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 barriers so that learners can concentrate on their studies. But, at the same ,time others believe that the school-recommended clothing does not contribute to achieving scholastic goals.
However
, I am of the opinion
that
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
show examples
 a matter to be debated before any conclusion is drawn.
To begin
 with, advocates of
this
 view argue that school attire promotes equality.
Additionally
, there will be less chance for bullying
due to
 the fact that everyone is wearing the same style of clothes;
thus
, resulting in an even playing field in learning. Apart from being secure,
uniforms
 will drastically reduce the financial burden on the family.
For instance
, purchasing a uniform requires a negligible amount of money
in contrast
 to buying other clothes frequently.
On the other hand
, some people strongly think that
uniforms
 restrict the freedom of expression. If the learner is forced to dress as instructed, most colleges hamper the personality of a child. Most of the time they feel uncomfortable, which might result in added stress for the learner. The majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school
uniforms
,
for example
, are available in standard sizes and teens with special characteristics
such
 as
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
height or weight often struggle to find
unform
Correct your spelling
uniform
show examples
 that fits adequately. In conclusion, both arguments carry strength and significance, and neither can be refuted outright.
Nonetheless
, I personally subscribe to the fact that having a school dress is more important reduces the gaps brings uniformity among students.
Submitted by surapanenianil on

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task response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion at the end. However, there is a need for more balanced arguments and deeper analysis of each perspective.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, but the essay lacks a clear progression of ideas within paragraphs. Using linking words and transitions could enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.
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