IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In developing countries, some people believe that governments should give people access to new technology in order to improve their lives, while others think governments should offer free education. Discuss both ideas and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #governments #access #technology #lives #offer #education
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In recent days, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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citizen thinks that the
government
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 must allow their
people
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 to gain access to our updated
technology
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 to have a quality of living.
Although
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 some think that studies should be no charge for the
people
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. In the forthcoming
paragraph
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,paragraph
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i
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I
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 will discuss the two ideas with the relevant examples that I think it is better for me and for other as well.
To begin
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, the constitution who are controlling for the innovation of
technology
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 and should give indirect access to our latest
technology
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.
Hence
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, about the
technology
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 of the phone how to build a quality phone so that
people
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 who are trying hard to build their own modern life will gain extra income for their everyday life to achieve their
goal
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goals
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 and be successful in time. one more example is about the
technology
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in
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on
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 the website
government
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 should allow the
people
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 to upload relevant information to the site. So that,
people
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 who have knowledge in doing that thing can
also
Linking Words
 survive in our growing
technology
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.
Although
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,
government
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 give access to
people
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whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 abuse should have penalties. To continue, the
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should give free education for our updated
technology
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 so that not
only
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the only
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rich
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the rich
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community
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communities
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 will learn because sometimes we forgot the poor
people
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 not to mention those who are in
a
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apply
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remote areas who do not have enough money for their studies. To support them for their
financial
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finances
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 and knowledge
government
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 should consider giving free education to
innovativ
Correct your spelling
innovative
technology
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.
Although
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, it was free
people
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 should push hard to achieve what they are longing for so that in the future no regrets because the
government
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 gives what is necessary. In my opinion, giving privilege to both parties is better not only for the
people
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 but
also
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 for the nation because they are the
people
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 of the country. If those
people
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 succeed the
government
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 will earn
also
Linking Words
 in terms of tax,
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government
Correct word choice
and government
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 permits in their business perhaps many
people
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 now are just looking for a start so that they can contribute to our nation even though in small things.
Submitted by whenardquibral on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • catalyze
  • economic growth
  • healthcare systems
  • digital divide
  • socio-economic gaps
  • e-waste
  • fundamental right
  • uplifts communities
  • skilled workforce
  • gender equality
  • social justice
  • sustainability
  • job creation
  • access to information
  • balanced approach
  • skill-based learning
  • sequential approach
What to do next:
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