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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In developing countries, some people believe that governments should give people access to new technology in order to improve their lives, while others think governments should offer free education. Discuss both ideas and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #governments #access #technology #lives #offer #education
In recent days, most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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citizen thinks that the
government
 must allow their
people
 to gain access to our updated
technology
 to have a quality of living.
Although
 some think that studies should be no charge for the
people
. In the forthcoming
paragraph
Add a comma
,paragraph
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will discuss the two ideas with the relevant examples that I think it is better for me and for other as well.
To begin
, the constitution who are controlling for the innovation of
technology
 and should give indirect access to our latest
technology
.
Hence
, about the
technology
 of the phone how to build a quality phone so that
people
 who are trying hard to build their own modern life will gain extra income for their everyday life to achieve their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
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 and be successful in time. one more example is about the
technology
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the website
government
 should allow the
people
 to upload relevant information to the site. So that,
people
 who have knowledge in doing that thing can
also
 survive in our growing
technology
.
Although
,
government
 give access to
people
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 abuse should have penalties. To continue, the
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should give free education for our updated
technology
 so that not
only
Add an article
the only
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rich
Correct article usage
the rich
show examples
community
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communities
show examples
 will learn because sometimes we forgot the poor
people
 not to mention those who are in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
remote areas who do not have enough money for their studies. To support them for their
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
 and knowledge
government
 should consider giving free education to
innovativ
Correct your spelling
innovative
technology
.
Although
, it was free
people
 should push hard to achieve what they are longing for so that in the future no regrets because the
government
 gives what is necessary. In my opinion, giving privilege to both parties is better not only for the
people
 but
also
 for the nation because they are the
people
 of the country. If those
people
 succeed the
government
 will earn
also
 in terms of tax,
government
Correct word choice
and government
show examples
 permits in their business perhaps many
people
 now are just looking for a start so that they can contribute to our nation even though in small things.
Submitted by whenardquibral on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • catalyze
  • economic growth
  • healthcare systems
  • digital divide
  • socio-economic gaps
  • e-waste
  • fundamental right
  • uplifts communities
  • skilled workforce
  • gender equality
  • social justice
  • sustainability
  • job creation
  • access to information
  • balanced approach
  • skill-based learning
  • sequential approach
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