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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country
The society
Correct article usage
Society
show examples
 now has various types of
music
.,n
this
 essay, we will be discussing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the importance of
music
,as some
people
 are of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 that traditional
music
 of a nation is more relevant than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
music
,while others feel
these way
Change the determiner
this way
these ways
show examples
 I'm of contrary
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
.
Music
 as a whole, has numerous uses to mankind as it is one of the major ways to preserve the culture and way of life a
people
,
for
example
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,example
show examples
 the
izon
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icon
ogoni
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Ogoni
show examples
 tribe of rivers state are known for playing their
music
 with drums and metal
kungs
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kings
lungs
,which is being used in their annual
festivalsl
Correct your spelling
festivals
festival
 to celebrate the new year, which
attractis
Correct your spelling
attracts
 tourist from various parts of the world to the occasion. It can
also
 be used as a means of relaxation and therapy in medicine, studies carried out in
japan
Change the capitalization
Japan
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 shown that
nusic
Correct your spelling
music
 therapy helps in calming down the pain reflexes of cancer patients who find peace and solace when listening to the
nusic
Correct your spelling
music
 of their choice. The traditional
music
 of the country is one which is known particular to that country and basically enjoyed mainly by
indegines
Correct your spelling
indigenes
 of the said nation ,so its limitations
is
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are
show examples
 that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 only appreciated by a small number of
people
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
show examples
 the international
music
that is
 being heard all over and appreciated by different
people
 of diverse ethnic background.
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 international
nusic
Correct your spelling
music
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 made for
Correct your spelling
everyone's
everyone
everyones
Change to a genitive case
everyone's
show examples
 consumption
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
show examples
 traditional
music
. To sum up,the evolution of man has brought about various types of
music
,so far the importance of it cannot be
over emphasized
Add a hyphen
over-emphasized
show examples
 as it plays a crucial role in our
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 life, as the international
music
 of a
people
, overtime has shown to have more benefits than the traditional
music
 of a
people
.
Submitted by alaboemmanuel20 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional release
  • cultural significance
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • technology
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • expression
  • consumption
  • production
  • traditional music
  • international music
  • diversity
  • identity
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