There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

The society

Correct article usage

Society

show examples

now has various types of

music

.,n

this

essay, we will be discussing

Change preposition

apply

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the importance of

music

,as some

people

are of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

believe

Replace the word

belief

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that traditional

music

of a nation is more relevant than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

international

music

,while others feel

these way

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this way

these ways

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I'm of contrary

oppinion

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opinion

Music

as a whole, has numerous uses to mankind as it is one of the major ways to preserve the culture and way of life a

people

for

example

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,example

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the

izon

Correct your spelling

icon

ogoni

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Ogoni

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tribe of rivers state are known for playing their

music

with drums and metal

kungs

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kings

lungs

,which is being used in their annual

festivalsl

Correct your spelling

festivals

festival

to celebrate the new year, which

attractis

Correct your spelling

attracts

tourist from various parts of the world to the occasion. It can

also

be used as a means of relaxation and therapy in medicine, studies carried out in

japan

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Japan

show examples

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

shown that

nusic

Correct your spelling

music

therapy helps in calming down the pain reflexes of cancer patients who find peace and solace when listening to the

nusic

Correct your spelling

music

of their choice. The traditional

music

of the country is one which is known particular to that country and basically enjoyed mainly by

indegines

Correct your spelling

indigenes

of the said nation ,so its limitations

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are

show examples

that

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

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only appreciated by a small number of

people

unlike

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,unlike

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the international

music

that is

being heard all over and appreciated by different

people

of diverse ethnic background.

furthermore

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,furthermore

show examples

international

nusic

Correct your spelling

music

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

made for

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everyone's

everyone

everyones

Change to a genitive case

everyone's

show examples

consumption

unlike

Add the comma(s)

,unlike

show examples

traditional

music

. To sum up,the evolution of man has brought about various types of

music

,so far the importance of it cannot be

over emphasized

Add a hyphen

over-emphasized

show examples

as it plays a crucial role in our

day to day

Add a hyphen

day-to-day

show examples

life, as the international

music

of a

people

, overtime has shown to have more benefits than the traditional

music

of a

people

Submitted by alaboemmanuel20 on Mon Jul 11 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Fully explain your ideas

17. Some people think that a persons improve their intellectual skills more when doing a group activity. To what extend do you agree.

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Other think adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You are going on a short training course at a college in Sydney, Australia. You need somewhere to live while you are there. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter: explain your situation describe the accommodation you require say when you will need it

People believe that not all school children have the natural ability to learn new language schools should not force school children to study a foreign language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?