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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country
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The society
Correct article usage
Society
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 now has various types of
music
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.,n
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will be discussing
on
Change preposition
apply
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the importance of
music
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,as some
people
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 are of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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believe
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belief
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 that traditional
music
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 of a nation is more relevant than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
music
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,while others feel
these way
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this way
these ways
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 I'm of contrary
oppinion
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opinion
.
Music
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 as a whole, has numerous uses to mankind as it is one of the major ways to preserve the culture and way of life a
people
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,
for
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example
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,example
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 the
izon
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icon
ogoni
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Ogoni
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 tribe of rivers state are known for playing their
music
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 with drums and metal
kungs
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kings
lungs
,which is being used in their annual
festivalsl
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festivals
festival
 to celebrate the new year, which
attractis
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attracts
 tourist from various parts of the world to the occasion. It can
also
Linking Words
 be used as a means of relaxation and therapy in medicine, studies carried out in
japan
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Japan
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has
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have
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 shown that
nusic
Correct your spelling
music
 therapy helps in calming down the pain reflexes of cancer patients who find peace and solace when listening to the
nusic
Correct your spelling
music
 of their choice. The traditional
music
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 of the country is one which is known particular to that country and basically enjoyed mainly by
indegines
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indigenes
 of the said nation ,so its limitations
is
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are
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 that
its
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it's
it is
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 only appreciated by a small number of
people
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unlike
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,unlike
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 the international
music
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that is
Linking Words
 being heard all over and appreciated by different
people
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 of diverse ethnic background.
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
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 international
nusic
Correct your spelling
music
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 made for
Correct your spelling
everyone's
everyone
everyones
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everyone's
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 consumption
unlike
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,unlike
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 traditional
music
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. To sum up,the evolution of man has brought about various types of
music
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,so far the importance of it cannot be
over emphasized
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over-emphasized
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 as it plays a crucial role in our
day to day
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day-to-day
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 life, as the international
music
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 of a
people
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, overtime has shown to have more benefits than the traditional
music
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 of a
people
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.
Submitted by alaboemmanuel20 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional release
  • cultural significance
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • technology
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • expression
  • consumption
  • production
  • traditional music
  • international music
  • diversity
  • identity
What to do next:
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