IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebration such as weedings and birthdays while other think this is a waste of money .discuss both the veiws .

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Small occasional
gatherings
Use synonyms
 are a part and parcel of an individual's
life
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 .Several personages are at the notion that spending
money
Use synonyms
 on family
gatherings
Use synonyms
 seems to be a pivotal element whereas ;another group of schools acclaimed it's a wastage of
money
Use synonyms
 .
Hence
Linking Words
 ,apart from my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 both viewpoints are justified
further
Linking Words
 . Focusing on the former's view, organising lavish parties is a crucial aspect .The utmost one ;serves as a social gathering.
This
Linking Words
 is to state that in recent days and ,ages
people
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 are following a hectic
life
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 schedule .They are quite busy with their daily routine and meeting relatives is found to be an erroneous task .
Therefore
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 parties help individuals to socialize within a group .
Moreover
Linking Words
, parent wishes to arrange their offspring's marriages with great joy.
That is
Linking Words
 with a few ritual ceremonies,foodstuff,dancing, and singing seem to be a part of weeding.
Additionally
Linking Words
 ,it provides a sense of relaxation from a tedious
life
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 pattern . On the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
contrary view arranging parties seems to be wasteful .To commence with,rather than spending heavy
money
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 on social functions one can secure
money
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 for future
life
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 .The reason is, that individuals have to tackle a plethora of challenges .
Thus
Linking Words
 ,creating a fixed deposit at the bank will help
people
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 to run the upcoming days smoothly.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,despite having a sense of animosity ;a little sympathy towards underprivileged
people
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 can help to a greater extent.
For instance
Linking Words
 ,higher class
people
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 can contribute some
money
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 towards a charitable trust in order to save a
life
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 of commuters . To conclude ,in my opinion
instead
Linking Words
 of spending a wholesome amount of
money
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 on family
gatherings
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 one should balance the budget between charitable organisational and social
gatherings
Use synonyms
.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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