Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #music #culture #ages

There are many ways to make a relationship with unknown

people

, whether

different

Change preposition

from different

show examples

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

or gender.

Music

is a good tool that can be used in many situations for making a relationship. In my opinion, I totally agree with

this

statement because

music

can deliver a speech to some

people

without an explanation. The song has

listened

Add a missing verb

been listened

show examples

with

Change preposition

to with

show examples

every gender and culture with the same

rhythm

Firstly

, every song has a meaning in itself that the singer wants to deliver. Some songs want to tell about the experience of his life or the story of his love.

Thus

, we can use the meaning of

music

to communicate with some

people

. It can lead to a good relationship.

For instance

, tell my feeling of love to my girlfriend and play with an unknown kid by using cartoon

music

Secondly

, it is obvious that we listen to

music

in everyday life. Kids listen to

music

by watching cartoons or funny clips. When growing up into adults, we listen to

music

while travelling, studying, and crying . Some

people

use

music

to relax.

Although

there are many languages in nature,

music

has the same

rhythm

that can understand by listening.

Thus

, the

rhythm

can bring different types of

people

to join together which is proven by dance activity. To sum up,

music

has the power to deliver

life

Correct article usage

a life

show examples

experience or a love story by listening.

This

is a good choice to deliver your message to some

people

Although

he did not understand the meaning, the

rhythm

still sent the message.

Submitted by mewmew60123 on Mon Jul 11 2022

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for instance
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such as
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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural diversity
harmony
integration
bridging gaps
foster
ignite
embrace
communicate
celebrate
appreciate
inclusivity
universal language
emotional resonance
shared experiences
intercultural dialogue
intergenerational connections
cultural exchange
catalyst

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Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people claim that life in a big cities is dangerous for health. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Technology is being used more and more in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal . Some people , however , think that other types of progress are equally important for a country . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion ?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation，such as an unsatisfactory job or lack of money . Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. discuss both view and give your own opinion

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?