IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

More and more students choose to move to other countries to study their higher education. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

#students #move #countries #study #education #outweigh
Nowadays higher education is popular among young students who seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the best job opportunities. For educated
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
 chance of being in the best universities are the prominent reason for immigration.
This
 kind of decision could have many benefits and drawbacks . In
this
 essay, why I believe the pros of studying abroad outweigh its cons will be discussed. To have a better quality of life is the prominent reason why most people make a decision to go overseas. Studying in a high-rank university could be considered as a base of requirements for living abroad
due to
 having a valuable certificate or diploma which increases the chance of their dream job.
Secondly
 in the modern world, people tend to experience a new life away from their comfort zone and find themselves or maybe prove their strength.
For example
 ;it could be seen that lots of educated immigrants are successful in their field and they adore themselves for tolerating the ups and downs
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 journey.
On the other hand
,being far from home could cause mental diseases.
While
 they are busy and
also
 struggle with new life, homesickness could have an impact on their morale. So it probably brings them down for a
while
.
In addition
, financial issues might appear and bring a lot of difficulties and hopelessness.
To conclude
, many students are observed by us who decided to go abroad for high-level education. I think the advantages of the very issue
due to
 having a better lifestyle and being a better version of themselves are overcoming
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of going abroad
although
 it takes time and energy to deal with hardships.
Submitted by shimasalmani1992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to address all parts of the essay question clearly in your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with logical transitions between paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!