IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new resources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

#demand #gas #oil #resources #areas #necessity #outweigh
In our globalization era, the race to a modern and high-tech city never stops, it promotes every country to speed up to reach the result. And it is inevitable for almost all regions to focus more effort on economic processes that fail to recognize the importance of other types of processes. And I believe the government should be treated more fairly in all aspects. It could not be said that the economic process had no impact on our growth. In fact, it provides us with a huge number of advantages when we come to an economic goal.
For example
, a developed economy provides better job opportunities and higher salaries for all citizens which heightens their quality of life, healthier and happier.
Furthermore
, it not only modernizes our public services but
also
 improves our experience in the tiniest detail of them But how can we not mention other issues
such
 as human rights, education, and social inequality, If those problems aren’t solved, our country will not reach its economic goal, because a modern city with so many burglars out there has no meaning.
Although
 the economic goal is accomplished with many social issues, there is always a crack and if it just can stable for a short period, it will be collapsed anytime in the future
Although
 the priority for the economic process is unavoidable, the government should
also
 pay more attention to other types of processes in order to build a stronger country.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: