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Band 5

In spite of the advance made in agriculture, many people around the word still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advance #agriculture #people #word #case
Nowadays
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of agriculture is at
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 peak.
However
, there is a huge number of people suffering
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 hunger. In
this
 essay I will look
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 what might be the cause, and how could we
solve
Correct pronoun usage
itsolve
show examples
. As far as I concern,
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 problem are varied.
First
, lack of farming, more societies concentrate only for
improting
Correct your spelling
importing
improving
 goods from
foriegn
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foreign
 countries, rather than cultivating their own
land
.
Second
,
water
 conservation aspects of many developing countries have no
Correct your spelling
existence
exsistance
Correct your spelling
existence
.
Finally
 aid
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
show examples
 distractions
to
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apply
show examples
the local community by giving some money, which will make them less productive and preference
of
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apply
show examples
gaining
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
with out
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without
show examples
 pain. For
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instance
intasnce
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instance
, our country is experienced all
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
Correct your spelling
issues
issuses
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issues
, the whole
rain
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rainwater
show examples
water
 automatically drains
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 the sea, at the same time there
is
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are
show examples
 hundreds of aid organisations working, but
at
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in
show examples
Add an article
the end
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end
Add a comma
,end
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 they are humans and cannot cover all the population,
then
this
 will lead to
death
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the death
show examples
 of thousands in every year I would say we can come up with solutions if we hold hands together government sectors, local community and organisations for improvement, at beginning
goverment
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government
government's
 role is to set a strategy and goal for the utilization of
water
, because we are sim-arid
land
 with the fall range is limitations, and
decresing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 ready-made items from abroad
instead
improting
Correct your spelling
importing
improving
 row materials like seeds as well. Community role: our
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
 all most everyone has a
land
, so they have to start planting their
land
, even if they are not able for extensive farming,
thay
Correct your spelling
they
that
 can do intensive or substantial ones, which is less cost and
land
, and help them to feed
them selves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 aid
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
show examples
 should give
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
,
beside
Change preposition
besides
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 the money. In conclusion,
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
 of millions due to
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 of food and
water
. Despite of,
modern
Add an article
the modern
a modern
show examples
 development of agriculture
have
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has
show examples
 a variety of roots and main are lack of
water
, farming and
also
 tradings may take part. In order to overcome,
authories
Correct your spelling
authorises
authorities
 must
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
clear aiming plan for the eradication of
hanger
Fix the agreement mistake
hangers
show examples
 whether they will flow sustainable development goals of
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 health organisation or their own policy of focusing priority of their territory.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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