IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of the advance made in agriculture, many people around the word still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advance #agriculture #people #word #case
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Nowadays
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of agriculture is at
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 peak.
However
Linking Words
, there is a huge number of people suffering
for
Change preposition
from
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 hunger. In
this
Linking Words
 essay I will look
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 what might be the cause, and how could we
solve
Correct pronoun usage
itsolve
show examples
. As far as I concern,
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem are varied.
First
Linking Words
, lack of farming, more societies concentrate only for
improting
Correct your spelling
importing
improving
 goods from
foriegn
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foreign
 countries, rather than cultivating their own
land
Use synonyms
.
Second
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,
water
Use synonyms
 conservation aspects of many developing countries have no
Correct your spelling
existence
exsistance
Correct your spelling
existence
.
Finally
Linking Words
 aid
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
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 distractions
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the local community by giving some money, which will make them less productive and preference
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gaining
Correct your spelling
without
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with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 pain. For
Correct your spelling
instance
intasnce
Correct your spelling
instance
, our country is experienced all
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
Correct your spelling
issues
issuses
Correct your spelling
issues
, the whole
rain
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rainwater
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water
Use synonyms
 automatically drains
in to
Join the words
into
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 the sea, at the same time there
is
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are
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 hundreds of aid organisations working, but
at
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in
show examples
Add an article
the end
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end
Add a comma
,end
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 they are humans and cannot cover all the population,
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 will lead to
death
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the death
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 of thousands in every year I would say we can come up with solutions if we hold hands together government sectors, local community and organisations for improvement, at beginning
goverment
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government
government's
 role is to set a strategy and goal for the utilization of
water
Use synonyms
, because we are sim-arid
land
Use synonyms
 with the fall range is limitations, and
decresing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 ready-made items from abroad
instead
Linking Words
improting
Correct your spelling
importing
improving
 row materials like seeds as well. Community role: our
soceity
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society
 all most everyone has a
land
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, so they have to start planting their
land
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, even if they are not able for extensive farming,
thay
Correct your spelling
they
that
 can do intensive or substantial ones, which is less cost and
land
Use synonyms
, and help them to feed
them selves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 aid
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
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 should give
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
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,
beside
Change preposition
besides
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 the money. In conclusion,
death
Correct article usage
the death
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 of millions due to
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
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 of food and
water
Use synonyms
. Despite of,
modern
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the modern
a modern
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 development of agriculture
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a variety of roots and main are lack of
water
Use synonyms
, farming and
also
Linking Words
 tradings may take part. In order to overcome,
authories
Correct your spelling
authorises
authorities
 must
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
clear aiming plan for the eradication of
hanger
Fix the agreement mistake
hangers
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 whether they will flow sustainable development goals of
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 health organisation or their own policy of focusing priority of their territory.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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