Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?

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In Australia, childhood obesity is rising every day. It is argued that schools are monitor

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

what toddlers are eating and If

his

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

doing exercise or not.

This

Linking Words

essay totally disagrees with the statement because it's put on pressure to do exercise regularly can affect his mental health and can't perform in exams. The primary reason to principal cannot force

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

various activities

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

it could affect

children

Use synonyms

's minds.

This

Linking Words

means toddlers cannot go to school and play games online.

In addition

Linking Words

, working parents cannot talk to their

children

Use synonyms

because they are busy with their jobs. Teenagers spend their time playing various online games and not doing any activity so

therefore

Linking Words

their

Correct word choice

so their

show examples

weight is increasing.

For instance

Linking Words

,in A report published by the American school management, around 60% of

children

Use synonyms

avoid

Change preposition

apply

show examples

goes their school because of their strict rules. Another reason is that students cannot perform in their exams.

This

Linking Words

means that if adults cannot perform in exams it cannot help in the future and

also

Linking Words

they can't find any jobs. So,

schools

Change noun form

schools'

school's

show examples

responsibility to not compulsory any activities and not restricted any food items.

For example

Linking Words

, In India, around 30% of toddlers surfaces from exam fear. In conclusion, Schools cannot control

children

Use synonyms

's food and exercise because it can affect their health and performance.

urvik01patelTue Jul 12 2022

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

216 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

monitor
responsibility
nutrition
physical activities
primary responsibility
complement
mandatory
limiting
availability
junk food
canteens
collaborative efforts
comprehensive approach
limitations

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Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?

Your opinion

Nowadays, people all over the world are spending more and more time apart from their families. Why is this happening? How does this affect people and their families? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matter is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?