IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

‘Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past. This behaviour is now having a negative impact on society.’ Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The changes taking place in the modern world are both rapid and unavoidable. One
such
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 change is the belief that
children
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 today do not
respect
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 their parents as much as they did in the past.
While
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this
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 trend can be observed in certain contexts, it is not universal.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
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behaviour
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 and its impact on individuals and society. One of the main reasons for
this
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 perceived decline in
respect
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 is the increasing exposure of
children
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 to online content at a young age. With limited parental supervision, many
children
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 are influenced by social media personalities who may use inappropriate language or
behaviour
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.
As a result
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,
children
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 may imitate
such
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behaviour
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 without fully understanding its consequences.
In addition
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, peer pressure plays a significant role. Adolescents often seek acceptance from their social groups and may adopt disrespectful attitudes if
such
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behaviour
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 is normalised among their peers.
However
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, it is important to recognise that not all
children
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 display
such
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behaviour
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. In many families, strong values and effective parenting continue to encourage
respect
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 and discipline.
Therefore
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, the issue is not universal but rather influenced by specific social and environmental factors. The impact of
this
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behaviour
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 can be significant. A lack of
respect
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 towards parents may lead to strained family relationships and negatively affect
children
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’s emotional development.
Furthermore
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, if
such
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behaviour
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 becomes widespread, it could contribute to a decline in social values and mutual
respect
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 within communities. Over time,
this
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 may weaken social cohesion and create a more hostile environment. In conclusion,
although
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 some
children
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 today may show less
respect
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 towards their parents
due to
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 social media influence and peer pressure,
this
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 trend is not universal.
Nevertheless
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, it can have negative consequences for both individuals and society if left unaddressed.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You talk about causes and bad effects, but the discussion part can be a little deeper.
task response
Add one clear example from real life or your own experience. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain one or two main ideas more. Some points are good, but they need a bit more support.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow, but some linking is a little basic. Try to vary how you connect ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is clear. To improve more, make each body paragraph focus on one main point with fuller support.
task response
You answer the question and keep your ideas on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and helpful.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a logical order, so the essay is easy to read.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • individualism
  • traditional values
  • authority
  • communication dynamics
  • pervasive
  • social networks
  • critical thinking
  • authoritarian
  • economic stressors
  • power structures
  • juvenile delinquency
  • family units
  • community cohesion
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