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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Write about the following topic. Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #computer #effects #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
computer
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the computer
a computer
show examples
 is an important
things
Change the noun form
thing
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our daily life. Some people said it has more drawbacks than advantages. But I extremely disagree with
this
 perspective. In the following paragraphs, I would explain more details to support my opinion. Electronic
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
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 tend to be more important to people
for
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apply
show examples
nowadays.
Correct your spelling
Especially
Especailly
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Especially
, for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
children
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
 who have to learn in
online
Add an article
an online
the online
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class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
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. They
must have
Add a hyphen
must-have
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 devices for
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 the exam. As
you
Add a verb
areyou
wereyou
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 aware, we can take the
advatage
Correct your spelling
advantage
advantages
 from it but it
also
 provides some problems to your
chilldren
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children
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 using
internet
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the internet
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 too much has
Correct article usage
an affect
show examples
Change the verb form
affected
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affect
Correct your spelling
effect
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some
behavior
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behaviour
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. If you do not have a
limit
Replace the word
limited
show examples
 time to play on the
internet
. They will be addicted
on
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to
show examples
 it.
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Addtionally
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Additionally
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers can not filter
in
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apply
show examples
fake news. And they will be the victims of
discrimer
Correct your spelling
disclaimer
.
Although
electronic
Add an article
the electronic
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device
 has some problems, It has more
Correct your spelling
advantages
advatages
Correct your spelling
advantages
. As you see, Using
electric
Add an article
the electric
an electric
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device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
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 with the
internet
 will changes our life
better
Correct article usage
the better
show examples
. In high school, can not teach the subject
ihat
Correct your spelling
that
 every student will interest. But the
internet
 can do.
Add an article
A teenager
The teenager
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Teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
Teenagers
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 can choose to learn in
subject
Add an article
a subject
the subject
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 that they
are really interest
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are really interested
show examples
Change preposition
in by
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by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 themselves.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 they can contact
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
another
aonther
Correct your spelling
other
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 and make good relationships by talking with their friends
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct your spelling
social media
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social-media
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social media
show examples
. Another reason, if you can go
anywaere
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anywhere
 you want by surfing the
internet
 by
device
Add an article
the device
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.u And it
cheaper
Add a missing verb
is cheaper
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 than travel by another way. For teenage, using
electronic
Add an article
the electronic
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device
 has more
Correct your spelling
advantages
advatages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 than drawbacks if we
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
limit
Replace the word
limited
show examples
 time and use it in the right way.
Submitted by r.pattaa on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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