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Writing Samples /
Band 5

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, so there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#people #computers #devices #access #information #books #magazines #newspaper #disagree？
It is very common to see that computers and electric devices, like phones, are being used by a growing number of
people
 to get access
information
Change preposition
to information
show examples
 worldwide. Based on
this
 situation, it is proposed that there is no need for printed materials in modern society.
However
, from my perspective, printed products are still in need occasionally. When
people
 access online
information
, it can help improve
people
’s reading efficiency.
For example
, some articles telling about skills to fix a lamp or decorating a house should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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only(are better to be) accessed online. If one person picks a particular time to go to a library to look for a book which can help with that problem, that costs that person a large amount of time on the way and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 looking for it.
However
, he or she only needs to open(turn on) the electric device and search for
Correct your spelling
keywords
show examples
key words
Correct your spelling
keywords
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 if these kinds of
information
 are available. It does
saves
Change the verb form
save
show examples
 much time and effort, which improves the reading efficiency greatly.
However
, some
information
 must be(are still necessary to be) printed on paper to give the younger and older
people
 chances to learn and know about the world in a better way. For the younger generation, when tons of online
information
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 presented in front of them, they might get lost, but the amount of printed materials
presenting
Wrong verb form
presented
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 limited so that kids are more likely to be patient and
focuses
Change the verb form
focus
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 on absorbing knowledge.
For the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 older generation, they are used to the
lifestyles
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyle
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 of watching (reading)printed newspapers and magazines, and they are not familiar with how to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electric devices. Changing all the printed materials into online ones
consequently
 cuts off the connections of many older
people
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world events. Overall, some
information
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not need to be printed in order to improve some
people
’s reading efficiency while other
information
 must be (
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
still
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
need to be )printed to benefit the younger and older generation.
Submitted by kikipu on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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